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November 06, 2008


So i woke up in my underwear asleep on my bed.  That sounds normal your thinking,  maybe your even like  "me too, i usually sleep that way, thus that's how i usually wake up." Well  first off stop being an asshole is what i would like to say to you...   Second the reason this is unusual is that my last memory is sitting at a bar with my friend.  Now your thinking "okay so you got drunk and forgot, big deal"   really whats up man? why you gotta be a dick let me tell my story..... ok?.... Good
     So anyways yeah i blacked out.  Done it before no big deal, except for the fact that I usually black out and pass out around the same time.  Not last night.... at least two hours of my life were unaccounted for in my memory bank.    So being the good detective, i was able to crack the case of the missing hours.
    From what i can deduce from receipts and first hand witnesses this is how my night went after I blacked out...
  Friend decides we should leave bar.  I agree and then insist on walking home. Friend offers me ride, drunk me again insists on walking home.  I walk home from the bar.  But as my receipt in my pocket informs me, I don't walk home, instead I walk to 7-11 buy a 12 pack and a bag of chips. My fridge also vouched for the purchases.   I finally get back on track walk home.
     I had to look to my phone for the next clues.  At this point it seems numerous drunk text messages full of non-sense are sent to  pretty girl. 
                                     "hey u donigok..... ok we are nor smiol ok ''''''l'''...; "
That is one of my favorite ones, all in all 7 drunk messages were found to be sent.   Further inspection showed i received two responses from said pretty girl.
                                      "Whatttttt?"      and     "Are you on drugs..?"
Obviously not enjoying the  lukewarm responses my texts are receiving  my dvd player confirms that I decided to watch a movie.  
 Not just a movie but a two hour and 45 minute epic to be exact. 
Sometime during watching this epic is when i decide to take my pants and shirt off and snuggle into bed. Not to be outdone by my earlier irresponsible actions, I make sure to leave all of the lights on and lay atop my covers on one of the coldest nights this year.

Like I said maybe alcohol is not my friend