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May 15, 2010
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Those Were Different Times Contest #54

Introducing: Robert Wotherspoon's "MUSIC TO MASAGE YOUR MATE BY"
(sorry, no explicitly illustrated instruction booklet)  *
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* Omission ammended, see trident and westsideslant's captions.
Excellent work, my friends ... you shall be rewarded ...  ? ... !!!
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13. Norm Macdonald released this album under the name Turd Ferguson. (snl)
-jimjamjones23

12. I hope she's not expecting a deep tissue massage. I've seen bigger arms on a clock.
-bubbalicious

11. MY AGENT MADE A MISTAKE, I ONLY DO MALE ON MALE...
well your here, might as well make the best of it and get a pay check...
-phukuhp

10. why is the man wearing a denim miniskirt?
-bigjas

9. "I usually don't like to be touched by strange men, but something gives me the feeling that you're harmless."
-spase

8. Wayne Newton's illegitimate son doesn't quite make the big time.
-JoeLeeThree

7. His porn name is Squirt Reynolds.
-paulthezombie

6. Coincidentally Robert called his penis "Mate by".
-chuckkling

5.5. "Rectum?! Damn near massaged 'em!"
5. The "explicit illustrations" in the instruction booklet are:

8===D + (I) = :0 ]

-trident

4. Ahh, it's the old "Get employed as her gardener and work for her while dressed as a gay transvestite Burt Reynolds until she trusts you enough to let you massage her" trick.
-lobizon

3. Explicitly Illustrated Instruction Booklet includes the following moves:

The Reverse Cul-de-sac
The Tijuana Triple Finger
The "Don't Worry I'll Stop Choking You Once You Come" (see legal disclaimer before attempting)
The Grundle Rub
Nothing But Knuckles
The Half Nelson Full Release
The Creepy Ending

And many more!
-westsideslant

2. Contains the hit single; "Your asshole looks tense. May I?" 

-jessicaligula
(dual recipiant of the "Nailed What Is On The Back Cover" award)

1.5. His signature move is the Penile Accidental Butt-Crack Brush.
1. That's not aloe.

-theDIRTYmidget
(dual recipiant of the "Nailed What Is On The Back Cover" award)

back cover



front cover

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