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Published May 12, 2010 More Info »
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Published May 12, 2010
This is not really to toot my own horn, 'cause that could easily lead to an 'accident', but rather to celebrate my new-found hobbie/full-time-job-for-the-time-being/eharmony alternative, and to help my spasey ass remember. Special thanks to all the cap-conmen and conwomen: mellowpuma Paulthezombie and all your guest judges past, present, and future WestsideSlant and all your peeps; Cassafrass, Lucy, all a 'yall xoxo Anonymousguy who judges the foD capcon Anyone I forgot cause I forget a LOT And all you funny ass fuckers, your aspiring animated animosity is my inspiration: Spase's Mean Kase of Atrophy ______________________________________________________________________________ WSS "Caption Nation" ______________________________________________________________________________ Mentions:"Well the service is terrible, but the servicing is to die for." - spase "I learned this move from Kobe Bryant when I was a 'Laker Girl'." - spaseYou had several great captions, this was my favorite of the bunch. Bucket List"This is the last time you make me fill up your elbow buckets with my tears, Sensei... once I get this knot undone." - spase Mentions:______________________________________________________________________________ "I know it's awkward lady, but like I told ya', the left is for bunnies and bears, the right is for beavers and fungi. It's in my contract." - spase Goldspase"Miata not be doing this! Taint sportsmanlike!" Mentions:"Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?""Depends..." - spase Mentions:"[INSERT QUASI-RACIST BURRITO FART JOKE HERE]" - spase Mentions:"Don't worry, he'll find you all on facebook in eight years." - spase Honorable Mentions:"Jim keeps the hat of his father, who was an actual mountie, to serve as a constant reminder of what a total disappointment he is; just what dad would've wanted." - spase Mentions:"Another 'Clown Hall' meeting... - spase Mentions:"Mel, you got some schmutz on your hand." - spase Honorable Mentions:"No, this ain't the whorehouse, this here's the billboard for the whorehouse... but since you're here now, I could use some spendin' money." - spase Bronze:"Jerkin' hard or hardly jerkin'?" - spase Mentions:"That's quite a field dressing..." - spase Mentions:"Jim Caviezel's real name was actually Jim Cavs until he started hanging out with Snoop Dogg and had it legally changed." - spase Cassie's 'Cap-Tune' Tuesdays ______________________________________________________________________________ THE GOLD RECORDS go to: ??? ? ...Don't brag about the diamond rings or the expensive clothes you wear, 'cause I could care less for what you possess and your attitude needs repair. Don't brag about your body, baby, and say that you're packin' a lot, 'cause all I see besides your big feet is that you got big socks... ??? ? [Bette Midler, Big Socks] ...thank you and goodnight - spase All your songs rocked, but this one made me LOL ______________________________________________________________________________ MULTI-PLATINUM goes to: "...Maybe you know some little places to go to Where they never close - downtown... (Downtown - Emma Bunton) - spase Personally, I hear Petula Clark when I read that, but ALL of your Downtown caps were G-spot on! ______________________________________________________________________________ Mellowpuma's "Those Were Different Times" ______________________________________________________________________________ 2. Career stats aside, it was Bradshaw's uncanny ability to make it through three more seasons in the NFL after the release of this album that ultimately led to his 1989 Hall of Fame induction.-spase 9. "I usually don't like to be touched by strange men, but something gives me the feeling that you're harmless."-spase 7. 'Jack Emblow Sextet'? REALLY!?!-spase 1.5."Thanks, man, here's your feelin' back.""Um, no, you keep it. Yes, I'm QUITE sure." 1. All we have left from the bail-out are sub-prime hunches.-spase A rare oddity, Ken is the only known Lego man to have matured to an average human height.-spase 3.5. Outer space meets inner-cest.3. Looks like that brother's Johnson is about to make a 'purple stain'.-spase 6. That girl on the right is not very convincing...-spase 46.5. If you play this record backwards it nags you about menial household chores and your general impotence and lack of virility; you know, to set the mood...46. Turns out Ke$ha simply bought the rights to this original and did a note-for-note remake for her debut album. That explains why her music makes me want to KILL MYSELF!-spase And the "Bizarre Possible Death Threat So Cleverly Parsed That The Authorities Wouldn't Consider It As Such" Award goes to:Featuring the 1973 Oscar nomination for "Best Original Song in a Foreign Language Far East Western with Sub-titles";"Anata wa, kokku no kao o shinu yo!"(translate at:|ja|You%20gonna%20die%2C%20cock%20face!)-spase (i wonder where the link will take me!) 6.5. "Whistling organ" also happens to be a side-effect of Viagra for women.6. Judging by the way "Baby" is walking, it looks like that organ recently got happy and whistled the whole Andy Griffith Show theme to his prostate.-spase (no redactions, unless you actually physically redact them, especially if they're good ... I don't care if it is actually named "The Old Fishin' Hole") 8. Flailing about in a fit of panic, he just couldn't shake that gonorrhea...-spase Paulthezombie's "Weekend of the Living Dead Caption Contest" ______________________________________________________________________________ "The announcer has an eccentric ritual to warm up his vocal chords before a race." - spase or Barf "Bullshit Bombfest" ______________________________________________________________________________ FIRST PLACE T-SHIRT/SINGLE-USE TOILET PAPER WINNER!We really should hang out with Ken more... Winning Caption spase No, no, Sir Dislexicles! I SAID, "Burn all their MAPS!, looks like I may be in the running for a T-shirt!Thanks if you thought that was funny, and if you voted die, well, I'm trying but it's a lifelong process - keep checking back... ______________________________________________________________________________ (mas o menos) ______________________________________________________________________________