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June 19, 2012

Brian writes monologue jokes every day. This is one of those days. He may or may not be incarcerated. You can find more at http://brianunderstands.tumblr.com and tell him he’s a muffin on Twitter @BrianLisi. Thank you.

Egypt's military council says it will transfer its power by the beginning of July. "Thank you for peacefully turning authority over to us," said these guys.

Actor Shia LaBeaouf appears in a new music video for Icelandic band Sigur Ros. The video was of course directed by Sodobo Eebeebononsensename.

Russia's Vladimir Putin said he and President Obama have "found many common points" on the issues of Iran and Syria. Unfortunately he couldn't convince Obama to join him next time at his ranch.

According to transcripts of jailhouse calls between George Zimmerman and his wife, she says at one point, "Isn’t that crazy how something like this makes you...put everything in perspective?” "We know the feeling," said these people.

Paul McCartney turned 70 on Monday. And he's looking pretty good for a guy who died in 1966.

An actor who portrayed an Ewok in "Return of the Jedi" may go to jail for flashing a college student. The student said she was completely shocked and surprised, as he was wearing a large robe.

Popular Hispanic broadcaster Cristina Saralegui endorsed Obama's reelection. Not to be outdone, soccer announcer Andres Cantours shouted "O!" until he passed out.

Starting July 31, Mike Tyson will perform his one-man Broadway show for six nights only. He's gonna have some competition though, as another one-man show about a boxer opened right across the street.

A New York Times report revealed widespread abuse at a New Jersey halfway house that was privatized to save money. Gov. Chris Christie responded by trying to Force push a reporter.

Google reports that U.S. authorities asked the company to remove information 6,192 times in the second half of 2011. Meanwhile, Yahoo almost got used 6,192 times in the second half of 2011.