Standing desks, treadmill desks- there’s always a new way for people to attempt to burn calories at work. Try a few of these simple exercises to stay active during the work day.
1. Lunge Everywhere Instead Of Walking
It doesn’t take a fitness expert to know that lunging works more leg muscles than walking. If you lunge literally every time you leave your desk, not only will you get a sweet new office nickname (“the lunger”), your boss will know that you’re a go-getter.
2. Pretend To Be Bad At Throwing Crumpled Up Paper Into The Garbage
First, print out an important-looking report. Get up to the printer, bring it back to your seat, and take a good look at it. Crumple it up, like something is wrong with it. Next, throw that crumpled paper into a garbage bin several feet away- be sure to miss! Then, get up, grab it, sit down, and throw the paper again. Keep missing until you feel like you’ve gotten enough walking in, or until your boss starts to think you’re pathetic.
3. Never Not Be Setting Up An Office Pool
Office pools are great for burning calories: you have to walk around to everyone in the office, stand around while they fish five bucks out of their wallet, and then, in a few days, walk around the office again letting everyone know the results. Usually these pools only materialize around the Super Bowl, but if you constantly have an office pool going, you’ll never stop walking! Some suggestions: basketball games, ice hockey games, soccer games, whose kid will sell the most Girl Scout cookies, when the next round of layoffs will be- the possibilities are endless!
4. Have 15 Office Crushes At All Times
Make sure you get obsessed with as many co-workers as possible. That way, you’ll constantly be getting up to flirt with people at their desks, sitting up straight when any of them walk by you, and run out to “help” people get a cup of coffee at least fifteen times a day! Plus, you’ll spend a lot of time walking to HR to deal with the sexual harassment complaints!
5. Switch Jobs With The Mailroom Guy
Head on down to the mailroom and figure out who the most motivated mailroom guy is. Then, get him to switch jobs with you! Now, you get to walk around all day delivering mail and getting exercise, while the poor chump of a mailroom guy is increasing his risk of heart disease.
6. Spy On Your Boss Through An Air Duct
Spying on your boss easily burns the most calories of any of the exercises on this list, and it’s easy to see why. Climbing through air ducts, listening to everything she says without moving a muscle, tip-toeing into her office after hours to look on her computer- that’s a full body workout. And fun, too!
7. Quit Your Job
Don’t go to work, don’t make money, and exercise all day. It’s that easy!