Beach season isn’t over yet, and boy are there some dangerous creatures lurking on the shores this year. Here is a helpful field guide to knowing when to flash that bikini bod and when to say “no thanks!” We’ve taken the sting out of deciphering your new summer crush from your next unsightly tentacle scar so you can make this your best summer yet!
Man o’ War. We know what you’re thinking, but sorry gals this is not your new dreamboat inviting you over for an intimate dip in the water.
Pro-tip: You can tell this is a Man o’ War by the lack of pool noodles in sight.
Man. Hallelujah, this is indeed a man and yes he is single! Take a mental picture now so you won’t have to look too hard before you “accidentally” serve that beach volleyball his way.
Man. Sure, his abs have seen firmer days, but no need to accuse this charming gent of a poisonous sting! He’s got a perfect spot on the beach all to himself. Join him,won’t you?
Man o’ War. We don’t need to tell you twice to stay away from this one! Those tentacles are deceptively long so be sure to keep a healthy distance.
50/50: This is a tricky one, and in the spirit of journalistic integrity we will admit this had our editorial staff divided across a pretty hard line! We’ll leave this one to the big man upstairs. After all, he gave us Matthew McConaughey which proves he knows best.
Man. A Portuguese Man O’ War has no use for canned goods. Geeze.
Man o’ War. Here’s a helpful hint: While many a Man o’ War is photographed solo, these floating terrors prefer to come ashore in packs. Where there’s one there’s more so best to hightail it ASAP.
Man. This is definitely not a Man o’ War.
Man. Proceed without caution, ladies!