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September 14, 2016
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A guide to the TRUE deplorables in this election.

If there’s one thing that the 2016 election has made clear, the GOP can’t quite agree on what the word deplorable means. They took offense to Hillary Clinton using it to describe some Trump supporters, yet Mike Pence has said it’s too extreme of a description for noted KKK member David Duke. Here’s a handy guide.


FINE

Examples: calling immigrants rapists, criminalizing abortion, Russian hackers, hate crimes against Muslims, calling for the assasination of your political opponent, Brexit, shitting on the family of slain Gold Star veteran, the KKK

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These are the things that you don’t want to lead the conversation with, but hey, if they find their way in there that’s not a bad thing, you know? Totally fine. What about ‘em seems like you’d need to take a stance, you know? Fine things include: You know, stuff that’s fine.


ANNOYING

Examples: people who keep yammering on about Trump releasing his goddamn Tax Returns, menstruating journalists, bad hair plugs, Chris Christie

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Annoying describes all that stuff that gets stuck in the veritable craw–or the news cycle. Not threatening, but definitely things you’d prefer not to have to deal with. Like talking to the guy at the valet stand while you’re waiting for them to bring around your car. Ugh. Annoying.


SAD

Examples: Hillary Clinton, the New York Times, Jeb Bush, Glenn Beck, Ted Cruz, Whoopi Goldberg, CNBC, CNN, the Iran Nuclear Deal

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A more generalized term for any sort of criticism of Trump’s campaign. From minor disagreements to full-fledged takedowns, all of it reeks of pathetic losers who probably ate alone at the lunch table. Even the teachers didn’t want to talk to them. Sad!


ACTUALLY DEPLORABLE

Examples: establishment Republicans who refuse to endorse Donald Trump

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The disgusting term Hillary used to describe Trump’s reporters should only be used for those who are truly sick and twisted in the head. And guess who fits that description to a T? Anyone resisting the ELECTRIC energy of the Trump campaign. Oh and YEA THIS INCLUDES PAUL RYAN. He endorsed Trump but…you know he didn’t mean it. I mean come on.


SATANIC

Examples: Hillary Clinton

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Satanic is a level beyond deplorable. It’s for the people who commit the truest hate crimes: the wide scale deception of the American people that convinces them policy solutions are the answers to their problems. Parkisons-ridden Hillary Clinton and her cadre of email-hiding hellbeasts. That’s a basket of something, alright. A basket of the King of Hell. Except Hillary’s the king. You get it.

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