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January 30, 2010


 It turns out the very anticipated and next "revolutionary" tablet computer from Apple, the iPad, was a bit of a disappointment to many gadget enthusiasts. I think overall, Apple has been a game changer in the tech world. Between their computers, mp3 players, and phones, they have raised the bar for many consumer electronics, but Steve Jobs needs to ease up on overusing the words "Revolutionary" and "Magical" for every product he pushes, it's getting redundant and he's starting to sound like my shroom dealer. I own an iMac Desktop, an iBook laptop, and two iPods, so I just want to say iKid because iLove, but this is all beside the point. I'm not writing this to criticize a product because of it's short comings, it's the product's name that needs to be criticized.

 The iPad. The iPad? The iPad. Really? Was there not one wiseguy to point out the double meaning during that pitch or was it like an Emperor's New Clothes thing,  where they all pretend they are too sophisticated and civilized to notice the sophomoric pun? What I find amusing is that they did no research to see if any other companies used it as a product name in the past, it turns out the name has been used for small engines, bra inserts, and the best one of them all, adult diapers. Maybe Apple can make more trendy devices with bad choice names. If they need ideas, I have a couple they can consider.

The iRag, much like The Kindle and other popular E-books, except it is only capable of downloading the worst newspapers and magazines in publication.


How about creating the most advanced, cutting edge electronic pen ever, with an impressive fifteen gigabytes of memory to record everything that has been written. The iPen15 will be the new must have item.

Just like the tea-bagging protesters, Apple failed to see the double meaning. It's like setting yourself up for a "That's what she said" joke, only on a much bigger scale. In the Midwest I have seen many examples of this, for instance the popular convenience store chain  Kum and Go.

or the FAG Bearings plant in Joplin, MO

Culver's is a popular burger franchise that originated in Wisconsin, I will never forget the short lived salad ad they had awhile back that read "If you lettuce be fresh, we'll toss your salad today!" It was funny on so many levels, I thought my head was going to explode.

I perused different websites to find other products with unfortunate names, forgive me if this seems like a Leno shtick, but I couldn't believe these made it to the shelves without anybody pointing out the innuendos and ambiguity of these brand names. Here are a few of my favorites:

Watch out for them bugs from "down under!"

The only soup that's bad for a sore throat.

Leave it to the Germans to overlook this mistake. 

Definitely not considered "Dry Goods". I'm curious as to where the yeast in this bread comes from.

Alright, that last one was most likely just lost in translation, but foreign country's should pay more attention to the English interpretation. After all, it's the only language God understands.

I now leave you with some of the best of the worst domain names.

Choose Spain, a website for holiday rentals: ChoosesPain.com (Sounds like a perfect getaway.....for a masochist )

In the Cumbria area and looking for someone else to handle your package and take your load? Checkout www.CumStore.co.uk/

Fish Feeders? Big Al's got you covered. Visit www.BiGalsOnline.com/

If you have the company's ink but can't find the right pen. Take a trip to www.PenisLand.net/

Looking to convert that hard drive of yours? Talk to the knowledgeable people at www.ExpertSexChange.com/

Want to get Paris Hilton a gift, but don't know what to get her. Find her agent and ask him at www.WhorePresents.com/

www.TheRapistFinder.com/ .....If anybody types this in not looking for therapy, then they definitely need therapy.