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Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Let's keep ugly people with other ugly faces, and good looking people with other sexy faces.
12 Funny Votes
5 Die Votes
353 Views
Published May 15, 2012

As we all know, there are some major differences, when it comes to how a man goes about getting a gal, and how a woman goes about getting a man. First off, about 90% of women can get any guy they want to. Men know this. Unless you're a woman with a dick or you can bench press more than most guys, then you can get a dude. A woman could be shaving her upper lip, then go dunk a basketball and guys will find her attractive. On the other hand, guys gotta do a lot to get a woman. As for myself, I'm by all means not a handsome guy. I kinda look like Jaws from the Bond movies, if Jaws smoked weed for 12 years and enjoyed the occasional double Whopper with bacon & cheese (NO TOMATOES DAMNIT). I know there's a lot of guys out there who are in the same boat, so don't worry dudes with looks like The Elephant Man. I will see the occasional guy, looking like a bag of diarrhea, with a stunning lady. When this occurs, I can't help but think "That guy is most likely hung like Seabiscuit." If a ugly dude is with a beautiful lady, then he's got a massive jizz stick. BUT when this scenario happens, how does the ugly douche face get the woman in the first place? Before he gets to whip out his footlong king kong dong schlong? There's only one answer; magic. THE GUY IS A FUCKING MAGICIAN! Makes sense right? David Blaine-ing these hoes. Either he is a magician or a modern day Jedi. Sometimes, the opposite happens. You'll see a relatively handsome guy with a hideous woman. I don't mean like "Kinda ugly" ugly, I mean like "Does this chick eat meth?" ugly. There's only one explanation for a handsome guy being with a shoe face; he's cheating! No way George Clooney is with Susan Boyle if he ain't also fuckin Eva Longoria on the side, you know?

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