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December 04, 2015
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Hey, if you just broke up with someone, think about heading to one of his shows.

Lucky for the world of comedy, Dave Chappelle is back and working on new material again. Unfortunately for him, it’s 2015 and we’re all fucking obsessed with our cell phones. Regardless if we’re texting, searching something, or filming his set, Chappelle has a zero-tolerance policy for audience members on their phones. So he’s teamed up with YONDR, a pouch that locks to keep you from your phone.

yondr-pouch1.jpg

Snug lil phone, locked away so you won’t text anyone you shouldn’t.

Basically, the pouch locks shut in no-phone zones, like the theater’s Chappelle’s shows will be in, so if someone needs to use their phone they can head out to the lobby to text or sext or whatever they need to do. This way people will, you know, watch the show they paid to watch.

And if this is the case there are some people who would really benefit from attending some of Chappelle’s shows.

  • Anyone trying to get over their ex. Spend at least an hour not on their Facebook or drafting texts to them.
  • Aunts who share too many memes online. Kick back, enjoy a laugh, don’t post a photo of a melting snowman with the caption, “LOL!!!!!”
  • Your mom when you’re traveling. You won’t receive 500+ “are you there?” “how are the roads???” texts.
  • The bots that automatically send usage updates. Lock those phones in a YONDR forever, please. But show them a good time at a comedy show
  • Anyone waiting for a text. For Christ sake, give yourself a breather,don’t stare at your phone the entire time, and watch an incredible comedian .
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