Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or

Daryn Strauss was nominated for a Writers Guild Award for her web series, “Downsized.” Now, she’s UPSIZED her own weight. Today on Funny Or Die, we investigate…why? BY NICOLE RUSSIN

Will Ferrell probably monitors everything as the Funny Or Die guru…as sort of our “boss.“ He has no life outside the Craig’s List Casual Encounters section. Do you think he should lose weight? I’m getting tired of him borrowing my Spanx.

I think he should lose so much weight, he becomes invisible and is a voice that randomly interrupts characters in movies. Sort of like Patrick Swayze in Ghost.

Daryn_Strauss_ funnyordie.jpg

You’ve put on a lot of weight since we met. Was that intentional as your new show is called “Weight?” Cool promotional tie in!

If Charlize Theron and Renee Zellweger could do it, I can do it.

I’ve also gained a lot weight – without a show to promote. What should I do? Keep it on and hope for a Jenny Craig endorsement like Jessica Simpson?

Make up a show. That’s what I did.

I feel really sorry for you. You have no hope in keeping weight off. Is that why you’re mainly working behind the camera these days?

I find that having a cushiony butt helps the writing process.

Do you think it’s true men claim they like women with more curves, or is that something women who should lose weight say to make ourselves feel better?

I generally look to Maxim to decide what men like, because those women are completely attainable and natural and representative of women in the real world.

Should I try Sensa? That junk you throw onto food so it tastes like my grandma’s cooking? My grandma is famous for burning anything she ever makes until it’s charbroiled roadkill. In fact, Granny probably did charbroil roadkill at one time. She’s a Kansas native.

Sure, if you want to look like the Millionaire Matchmaker, which I’m sure you do.

Thanks a lot! I’m totally depressed now about weight. Why should I watch YOUR SHOW about “Weight?”

It’s a comedy about a middle class mom played by Martha Byrne from As The World Turns who loses over 100 pounds after competing on a reality weight loss show and then has to deal with everyone’s weight crazy dysfunction when she returns home. Basically if you took every internet reaction to the topic of weight and built a show out of it, you’d get my new comedy Weight, which you will be able to watch at www.weighttheseries.com.

Others joining the cast include Trent Dawson, Bradley White and Dee Freeman.

DarynStrauss_funnyordie2jpg.jpg
martha me crying3.jpg

ABOUT US: DARYN STRAUSS (blonde pictured above) thinks she is a big deal because she was nominated for a Writers Guild Award…AND…her new show stars soap star Martha Byrne, who is no big deal. She wears Clark Kent glasses for no reason other than to look like a hipster: she really has 20/15 vision. Daryn shoplifts cheap Claire’s jewelry in her free time. She is wanted in the state of New Jersey for “petty theft of two television sets.”

NICOLE RUSSIN (pictured below) is a wannabe celebrity chef who is probably going to seduce Alton Brown for a spot on the Food Network if a cooking show doesn’t come up soon. She has appeared on a hair color box sold at Target (TRUE; however this is her only talent!). Rumor has it, she once dated Ang Lee because he cooked good food. On her web diary, she confirmed how she sexily shared a hot tub with Mick Jagger while a minor.

smile.JPG
Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More