or
0 Funny Votes
0 Die Votes
95 Views
Published November 04, 2008

Oh, the data, the data! Get ready to spend all afternoon listening to various statistics and polling data that will ultimately prove nobody knows a damn thing about statistics and polling data.

Forget the predictably unpredictable exit polls. We conducted our own survey of voters and collected some real data:

PERCENTAGE OF VOTERS WHO:
  • Left the polling station and had a sudden panic attack that they ?accidentally voted for the wrong guy: 61%
  • Took lewd photos of themselves in the voting booth: 10%
  • Were undecided until receiving message from God at second they stepped into booth: 16%
    • Percentage of that group who voted for McCain: 100%

  • Were named "Mickey Mouse": 23%
  • Saw their neighbor, Mr. Jimmy Liberal, vote for McCain: 18%
  • Looked at a black voter and tried to say "I"m voting for your guy" with their eyes: 94%
  • Wept openly: 65%

  • Lied to a pollster: 99%
Read more from 236.com:

Related: Issues Watch: The Levi-Bristol Marriage

        <p class="fRelated"><strong> Previously:</strong> <a href="http://www.236.com/news/2008/11/03/how_to_vote_9989.php">Election Day, when America pretends that every vote counts</a></p>


        <p class="fRelated"><strong> From the Room:</strong> <a href="http://www.236.com/blog/w/steve_young/breaking_mccain_concedes_10026.php">Breaking! McCain Concedes</a></p>
Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web