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August 25, 2016

No one could have seen these thoughts coming.

You know how every once in a while a crazy thought will just pop into your head out of nowhere? A thought no one in their right mind could have ever seen coming. A thought so strange and unexpected you could only stop and think, “Wow! That’s a first!”

Well, I decided to start writing those thoughts down and so here they are all rounded up for your collective amusement.

  • I don’t care if I look stupid in these sunglasses!
  • What if there was a baby so big it could crush Mt. Rushmore with it’s tiny baby foot?
  • How come seven never gets to bigger than 30. Not fair!
  • I could see myself falling in love again someday.
  • “Squamish” isn’t a word, unless it’s a word that I just don’t know about.
  • If I think about it, it really was more my fault than hers.
  • What if the Olive Garden was called the Apple Garden? Would it be the same restaurant or a little more like Applebee’s?
  • A centipede that has pennies for legs would be called a CENTipede.
  • I’m happy she’s moved on, but I still dream of us getting back together.
  • It’s kind of weird that this email has no exclamation points in it.
  • We always talked about kids. In retrospect, I’m not sure what my hesitation was. I do want kids. I’ve always wanted kids. I guess I just feared we weren’t ready, but of course we were.
  • I am the Geena Davis of my friend group.
  • Who am I kidding? I can never love someone else as much as I love Laura. Hopefully, my future wife can accept that.
  • My heart aches every single day for what could have been.
  • If my computer was a movie it’d be “Raising Arizona,” I guess.