A new technology has been developed where people can use their webcams to determine their clothing size, if they can’t get out of their house to try on clothes at the store. But if you can’t get out of your house to try on clothes at the store...you’re probably a Large

A German gynaecologist has been sent to prison for secretly taking over 35, 000 pictures of his female patients without their consent. He’s probably going to be fine though, because I have a pretty good idea about what he’s going to use for currency...

Former Batman comic artist Jerry Robinson died this week at the age of 89. Mr. Robinson died suddenly in his home, when one of his action bubbles exploded prematurely

Rest in Peace


It has been announced that the NBA and NBA Players Association have reached an agreement, and the season will begin on Christmas Day. The owners and players had been negotiating for months, suffering from long hours and marathon negotiating sessions. Both sides are thrilled and say they achieved their two main goals of the process, 1) A sustainable profit sharing deal for the league, and 2)... Not having to spend Christmas with their families

NBA commissioner David Stern vetoed the trade of All-Star Chris Paul on four separate occasions this week, saying he couldn’t let Paul leave New Orleans due to basketball reasons. Of course, this only makes sense if ``Basketball Reasons`` is the name of Stern’s jazz band, and Paul is the base player

Former Penn State coach Joe Paterno broke his pelvis after a fall in his home on Saturday, but he wasn’t admitted to the hospital until Sunday afternoon. Apparently Mr. Paterno’s maid saw the accident, but only told her Athletic Director about it.

A new service is being offered at airports where people can print off custom messages on banners for incoming passengers. Although the best seller at the moment still says “BLOW ME, DELTA”


After Mitt Romney offered him a $10, 000 bet in a recent debate, Rick Perry declined the offer saying he “wasn’t in the betting business.” This isn’t surprising, because when you bet the Trifecta at a horse race, you need to remember all 3 of the horse’s names

A man was forced to stand for the duration of his 7 hour flight, after he was seated next to an obese man on a plane. The obese man wasn’t blocking his seat...he was just really impressed with how many in-flight meals he could eat


“CLAP, CLAP ,CLAP...8 meals?!?, 9 meals?!?...WOW impressive!”

The Angels signed slugger Albert Pujols to a contract worth $254 Million, proving once and for all that Jesus doesn’t have to pay the Luxury Tax

Rick Perry made headlines this week after he released a controversial video discussing the sanctity of Christmas and Gays. Many questioned how he could make the connection between Gays and Christmas, but I don’t...because that’s some preeeeety colourful wrapping paper your son picked out there Rick!     

A recent fan poll said that the celebrity fans would most want to have over for Christmas dinner was Jennifer Aniston. But the fans quickly changed their minds, and decided they would rather have Angelina Jolie instead

After a report was released discussing the effects of repeatedly heading a soccer ball and how it causes concussions, soccer moms couldn’t believe the results. But they really couldn’t believe that Tina Miller would wear THAT to a kid’s soccer game... 

“It’s just so inappropriate...so inappropriate”

Portland Trail Blazers point guard Brandon Roy announced his retirement, after many months of soul searching. He said he was leaving the game because of knee issues, and he also wanted to spend time with his aging father...Greg Oden

Lynn Margulis, a prominent scientist who helped strengthen the theory of evolution died recently of a stroke. Although religious groups are demanding a sticker is put on her coffin saying that a stroke was only one possible theory about how she died

Facebook has announced that they have developed a tool to report suicidal behaviour and give help to depressed Facebook users...So c’mon guys, just accept Zuckerberg’s friend request already...

A recent report stated that Silicon Valley Tech companies had the lowest percentage of female executives in America...although they did the highest percentage of female executive’s homework

The Chilean government is recommending that Chilean men not wear neck ties during the summer in an attempt to save energy by reducing air conditioning consumption. The campaign to reduce their energy use has been well received, especially since Chileans aren’t that great at mining for it

Scientists who have been studying rats for the last 5 years have concluded that the animals can actually be quite helpful...Especially if you’re trying to lose your funding

A Chinese father has been arrested for hiring a stripper for his son’s wedding...But hey, at least he didn’t just get rid of his extra daughter like other Chinese dads...

For Weekend Update, I’m fat Neil...Good Night, and PopPop