What if the horse decides to drop a huge deuce right smack in the middle of your fantastic voyage? Then what? Do you get your money back? Or should you take it as a sign? Is some higher power dumping all over your relationship? Is Mercury in retrograde?
Trick question. Of course Mercury is in retrograde! Mercury is ALWAYS in retrograde. Why? Because Mercury is an a-hole.
One thing to remember: if your horse poops, DO NOT LOOK! It will scar you for life! At least for the rest of the ride…
And after that, no amount of champagne or Peabo Bryson will redeem the situation.