Things I learned from my dog....
~I need to be more selective about where I go to the bathroom. Even if it takes all day.
~If my husband isn't paying attention to me I should pace around the room, look at him and sigh to mark each lap.
~You do NOT want that guy on your lawn!
~Or that guy...
~Chasing squirrels is an intelligent way to spend an afternoon.
~I haven't successfully quenched my thirst unless there is water EVERYWHERE!
~You can digest just about anything as long as you really want it.
~You can't ignore me if I get RIGHT in your face.
~ Being loud gets things done.
~Never take your eye off the ball, it could be a trick.
~Never trust a guy with a mustache.
~If you have no food, all you need to do is scratch the bottom of your bowl a few thousand times and PRESTO.
~If you really love something, you need to hide it. Preferably under the couch cushions.
~If my husband won't get out of bed, I just need to pee on him.
~Only shit in the car if you are stuck in traffic.