Dutch Savage, photo editor
Here's my list of movies I should have never rented. Movies with titles that tricked me into thinking I was getting a porno:
“SHAFT” - Handsome black dude with a mustache and an afro named Richard Roundtree under the words SHAFT spells great porn to me. Porno soundtrack without any real fucking really threw me for a loop.
“SPACE BALLS” - Cheap Star Wars parody with lousy acting, mediocre costumes and cardboard sets yet no Leia Princess in the whole movie.
“DICK” - This movie sucks! (Get it?)
“DRIVING MISS DAISY” - I obviously thought this was going to be an elderly interracial ROMP of a film, but again no fucking in a sexy sense.
“THE COLOR PURPLE”- Now that I saw Oprah in "The Color Purple" I am ready to see "The Color Purple" in Oprah!
“BIG” - I don't know, I guess I jumped to conclusions.
“DIE HARD” - Not a film about an eternal boner, but close.
“FIRST BLOOD” - I was hoping to see a heartwarming tale of a young girl coming of age with lots of raunchy sex but instead I got a retarded bum taking on the pigs in the pacific northwest, I beated off anyways.
“EASY RIDER” - Peter Fonda? Hey I'm kinda fond'a peter myself!
“THE BLACK STALLION” - I turned it off way early when I saw the horse, I'm not into that shit man.
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