Arrests of New York began as a photography project in 2010. The initial goal was to photograph 10,000 New Yorkers being arrested on the street, and create an exhaustive catalogue of the city’s criminals. Here are the stories of some of the most villainous crimes committed in the Big Apple since the project began.
“We found him hanging off the roof of a combination Long John Silver’s/Taco Bell yelling classist slurs at customers pulling into the drive-thru. At the time, he was fully nude except for two sock garters and a locket containing a photo of Paul Dano. When we asked him why he did it, he spat on my shoes, shined them, and attempted to flee. I’ve never seen anything like it in my 15 years as a deputy.”
“We got a call down at the station complaining of a man interrupting a ‘Shakespeare in the Park’ performance by driving his 2008 Honda Odyssey through the gates of the amphitheater, shouting ‘Down with Marlowe!’ When told that the show was a performance of The Taming of the Shrew, not a play by Chistopher Marlowe, he expressed immediate and almost methodical regret. He’s got a high power lawyer, though. We’ll see what happens.”
“We were notified of a man harassing guests of the Trump Hotel on Columbus Circle. When we arrived on the scene, we saw him holding a Beats Pill above his head, blasting the Glee cover version of ‘In Your Eyes,’ apparently attempting to recreate the boombox scene from Say Anything. We asked him why he was doing this and his response was, ‘I’m gonna give Mr. Trump a piece of my mind and a slap on the wrist.’ When we informed the gentleman that Donald Trump does not live in his own hotel, he angrily lobbed his speaker into the air and it landed on the windshield of an Uber Select. Luckily no one was hurt, but people in the immediate area are definitely a bit shaken up from the whole thing.”
“He was black.”
“We got calls after a man burst into Trinity Church during a funeral service, cried ‘3…2…1…’ and pulled the fire alarm. He immediately made his way towards the tabernacle, jumping from pew to pew over the weeping bereaved and chanting what was described by witnesses as ‘an incoherent mix between ‘70s hip-hop and Celtic folk music.’ When he reached the tabernacle, he ripped a headset microphone off of the priest and started to condemn those who were leaving the cathedral and warn the few who remained to ‘proceed with deference.’ When questioned as to why he interrupted the service by falsely pulling a fire alarm, a class ‘A’ misdemeanor, he stated that the whole affair was the unofficial release party for his debut mixtape, ‘Greatest Hits.’ While we feel for the friends and family of the deceased who had to endure this manic interruption, we can’t deny the fact that the kid’s got some talent.”