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January 10, 2012

10 things God told Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow after defeating the Pittsburgh Steelers in the NFL playoffs.

1. "What play did you run on that last pass? I know I didn't call that shit.."

2. "Not even I know how the fuck you pulled that one off, swear to me."

3. "I'm starting to see a whole lot of Judas in that John Elway guy....kill him."

4. "When that reporter asked you how you made all those in-game adjustments, you almost forgot to thank me first and foremost. Don't let that shit happen again."

5. "Funny how Roger Goodell has kept his distance from you. What'd I tell ya about that guy.."

6. "Do you have any idea how much ass you could be getting right now? I just don't get it..I know I never taught you that shit."

7. "I lost a lot of money in Vegas because of you bucko! Chill, chill..I'm just fucking with you."

8. "You know I'm only doing this for you because I am sick and fucking tired of hearing about Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga."

9. "Want a bump? No?? My me, do you party at all?!

10."Hey do they still got McRib goin' on at Mickey D's? Damn it..."