Full Credits

God, Jews, Foreskin, Moabites

Stats & Data

April 27, 2012

IF the Bible is true, God's a bungler.

The Bible: Intelligent Design or Shoddy Workmanship?
The Flood. The design went so awry that God had to wash it away in a genocidal rampage. Think of it as God’s Etch A Sketch moment.
Original Sin. An apple, admittedly a saucy fruit, upset an all-powerful God’s plan? Since you can’t surprise an all-knowing being, God knew he’d send Jesus down to fix this. Kind of seems like the Father sent his Son to earth to atone for the Father’s lax oversight with the apple. (Some may say that Eve took the apple of her own free will and Jesus is atoning for humanity’s error. But, this ignores that God created her knowing what she’d choose.)
Foreskin. God designed this spongy skin just so we could hack it off to prove our devotion. (Lev. 12:2 demands that we make up for God’s mistake by circumcising all male children.)
The Jews. God’s chosen always get hosed. And if God treats his chosen that way, what hope is there for the res of us? There isn’t.
According to the Book of Revelations, we’re all pretty much screwed and there’s nothing we can do about it. Of the billions of people God created, only 144,000 are worth saving. That’s not intelligent, it’s not even efficient.