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January 17, 2010


You heard it here first, bringing you the important headlines and breaking news of tomorrow from around the corner of the time - space continuum. As was expected, the Cowboys proved to be "Just Too Big" for the Vikings Metro Dome.  FAIL!  (SEE RETRACTION BELOW)

The Editor's at the Future Times would like to take this opportunity to aplogize for this obviously erroneous and untrue story. Apparently, an error in calibration of our Time/Space Transmogrifier resulted in our reception of an "Alternate" future from an adjacent parallel universe; one where the Dallas Cowboys played to their potential and didn't get flustered and beaten like little school girls. Our congratulations to the Minnesota Vikings on their 34 - 3 (should have been 27 - 3) victory, and our condolences on their impending loss to the New Orleans Saints next week. (We see all and tell all) Again, our sincere apologies and we hope you'll continue to trust the Future Times for your "Prognostication Information".

"Pants on the ground, Romo on the ground,
Can't throw the ball when you're down on the ground,
Pants on the ground, helmet on the ground,
Can't make a run when your pants on the ground,
With your helmet knocked sideways looking like a fool,
Minnesota Vikings done took you to school,
Pants on the ground, Cowboys not around,
Pants on the ground, Phillips not around,
Pants on the ground, pants on the ground,
Looking like a fool with their pants on the ground"