dinosaur-eggs.png

via


Nineteen fully intact fossilized dinosaur eggs (43 total egg parts) have been found in Heyuan in Guangdong province of southern China during road construction. The eggs were abnormally big, measuring up to 13cm (a little more than 5 inches) in diameter. No one knows yet exactly which kind of dinosaurs the eggs were from but let’s assume everyone is hoping T-Rex. Heyuan has been called “Home of Dinosaurs” due to the high rate of fossil discovery in the area.

Of course, this discovery is coming just days after a new trailer was released for Jurassic World. I don’t know about you, but that combination has got me thinking “Real Jurassic Park” all the way. I sat down with dinosaur expert Troy Dinosaur and got his thoughts on how close we are to finally having a Real Jurassic Park.


Interview With Dinosaur Expert Troy Dinosaur

creationmuse.jpg

Paleontologist Troy Dinosaur (wearing tie)

So, Troy Dinosaur, thanks for joining me. First off I have to ask: Is ‘Dinosaur’ your actual last name or is it a nickname of some kind?
Haha, well, it actually is my real name believe it or not. Just a coincidence. I wasn’t really interested in dinosaurs until I started studying paleontology at Princeton.

….Nnnnnaaaaaaahhhhhh, man, come on…
Haha, I understand your skepticism, I’ve gotten it my whole life, but I assure you it’s just a coincidence.

That’s literally unbelievable. So my main question to you is this: We’ve discovered so many new dinosaur egg fossils recently, how many years are we from a Real Jurassic Park?
By Real Jurassic Park do you mean using preserved DNA to create clones of extinct species of dinosaurs?

I mean a big theme park-y island where dinosaurs roam free (but are caged in for safety) while the public can take rides in Jeeps, eat in elaborately decorated cafeterias, where all the walls have bright cool designs painted on them, and you can buy souvenirs in gift shops. That kind of thing.
Well, cloning research has actually come a long way recently despite being out of the public eye and I think—

How much do you think tickets will cost?
Um, what I’m trying to say is that while cloning extinct species is definitely a possibility on science’s horizon, a scenario where we’ll be able to mass produce multiple species of dinosaur in any practical way is still a long way off.

I bet the tickets will be crazy expensive. Tickets are nuts to anything these days. Guess how much the Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets I bought yesterday were.
I don’t know, 50 dollars? I don’t do many interviews, is this how they normally go?

90 bucks! Not to mention the eight-dollar beers while we’re there and the hotel room for me and my girlfriend. Renting a car because public transit in Philadelphia is NOT reliable. The concert’s in Philadelphia, by the way; New York was sold out. Typical.
Do you have any more questions about dinosaurs?

I hope Flea is there.
Why wouldn’t Flea be there?

I bet you love Flea because he has an animal name like you.
Uhh…

Do you love Flea?
Sure.

Good. So, we both agree that this new Real Jurassic Park would be mad pricey, but you gotta admit, any price is fair if it means seeing a real-life T-Rex eat a goat.
You have to understand, any type of scenario like the Jurassic Park movies is extremely far in the future or maybe totally impossible. But, we are discovering new things about dinosaur species every day. For instance, we just found the long-necked brontosaurus and apatosaurus likely belonged to the same genus.

I thought it was cool that the brontos were the first dinosaurs you see in Jurassic Park but I didn’t miss seeing them after that. They’re big but they’re boring. I like the meat eaters because they’re aggressive. Like Flea on his bass guitar.
Uh-huh.

Standing in line to see a show tonight and there’s a … DI-NO!
OK, well thanks for calling me…

Fine, sorry, just pumped for RHCP this summer. One more question: Let’s just say there was a Real Jurassic Park.
Which, to be clear, science is very far from…

…and let’s just say that they were having a grand opening … with a concert … and they needed a band that was both cool enough to draw a young hip crowd and popular enough to draw worldwide attention … you know where I’m going with this don’t you?
I do. I don’t know if the Red Hot Chili Peppers would play, but they’d probably be long dead by the time any sort of Real Jurassic Park ever happened.

OK. Thank you for your time Mr. Dinosaur.
It’s Dr. Dinosaur, actually. I didn’t go to nine years of—

OK-I’m-hanging-up-now-buh-bye-[click]

Advertisement