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January 31, 2012

its about a dude.


His names is antonio, he is a really tall man but thats only because he measures himself from the sky down. He's a very interesting man. Not his personality but his looks. All of his facial features were off to the left by one centimeter. But you could only tell if you really believed. But this isn't about antonio its about me, im antonio. I work for this old woman who doesn't believe in technology. She believes that everything should be done by people. My job is to operate the fan. Me and 3 other people hold fan blades and run around in circles. I just recently got promoted. I used to be the coffee table. I live in a hotel thats disguised as a motel. I have a roommate but haven't heard from him in 3 years ever since i accidentally folded him up in the futon. I live life on the edge, I sleep naked on a water bed with an electric blanket. I get high off life…with the help from a lot of cocaine. But all of my troubles started once i met floyd, the 83 year old french albino man. Maybe he actually had brown hair and really bad dandruff but I guess ill never know. He asked me directions for the nearest hardware store. But the only map i had was a view of earth from another universe. So i told him to keep going straight on the street he was on and make a U turn in 1 mile then another U turn in 2 miles and it should be right there. Two wrongs don't make a right but 3 lefts make a right. He thanked me and asked if i wanted to help him with something. he said he would pay me in compliments. Im pretty sure he could read minds because how else would he have known that i had an extremely low self esteem. I really needed some compliments so i agreed to help. He described the job on the way to the hardware store. His plan was to rob the hardware store. We got there as the sun was going down, i nervously walked up to the cash register i didn't have a gun or any sort of weapon. All i had on me was 53 dollars mostly in change. So i offered the cashier my money in exchange for the register. without even hesitating he snatched the 53 dollars mostly in change out of my hand and made a run for it. I didn't understand what was going on. I tried to wake up but it wasn't a dream. i walked out into the parking lot and it was empty. Years later i would come to the conclusion that Floyd and the cashier were in on this together. this was just an elaborate way for them to steal my 53 dollars mostly in change because floyd couldn't think of any compliments to pay me in. More years later i would come to the conclusion that that didn't make any sense.


All of these words were placed in specific order by Joey McAdams. I think.