Dear Famous People,
Part of my job at PRCM is to find artists that I enjoy and contact their management/pr firms to request pictures/information/interviews. 50% of the time this is a wholy pleasant experience, even if the answer I get is "No thanks".
For instance, I requested an interview with a very very famous movie star, an older gentleman, who I knew I had no chance of getting. I made the request so that his publicist would be aware of my existence on the planet and that of my website, in hopes that maybe one day I'll get to interview their client.
If anyone, this publicist had what I would call-plenty of room to be a jackass- about my rather ballsy request. Instead, she took the time to write me a lengthy reply and even though it ended with "No thanks", she was so nice about it I'm thinking about driving to L.A. just so I can wash her car.
The other 50% of the people I deal with can be split up as follows:
10%- Totally Dismissive/Do Not Acknowledge Existence of Me
20%- Have no intention of letting me interview requested client but attempt to dangle said client in front of me as a "maybe" while requesting that I pimp out other clients.
20%- The most incomprehensible of all the responses my business partner and I have gotten- The "have to passes". It's this type of publicist that has caused my partner to pull out a large section of his underarm hair, and at one point last week after hearing the phrase, I tried to gnaw off my own leg.
Listen, we don't expect that we will get everyone we request and we are more than happy to take no for an answer. But guys, seriously. If I take the time to sit down and write out a request to interview you for the site it means that my partner and I like your work and think you are interesting. When we get a response from your publicist that reads, "At this time, we're going to have to pass." or "So sorry, but Very Important Dude has to pass.", what we hear is, "I'm a pompous douchebag who looks down on you and your work. It doesn't matter to me that you are trying to make a living doing what you love, you are beneath me. I'm not going to sully my client's reputation by having them be seen on your so called online magazine, who do you think you are, Maxim?".
No, Mr. and Ms. PR Douche. No, we don't think we are Maxim. In fact we are hoping to be the exact opposite. And now, not only do we not like you as a human being, we have no further interest in your client.
P.S. Suck my balls.
We understand that most of the time, you guys have no idea that your publicists are behaving this way. We know that you are legimately busy and are unaware of most of the requests like the ones that I make- that's why you have a publicist in the first place- to sort through all of the crap.
But could you just ask them, for the love of GOD, to stop using the "have to pass" line? It's giving me internal hemroids, and people...you can't scratch those.
Keep in Touch!