Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted last night the final SNL of 2015 last night, so just as it was an easy toss for the writer’s room, this recap will mostly be writing itself because the episode was great and I am hungover from too many Tatooine Sunrises at Deborah’s Star Wars-themed birthday party. I hate you Deborah. (You know, if my birthday landed on this particular weekend, I would have had a Sisters-themed party cause I don’t care about Star Wars either, Amy! Can’t wait to see your movie!)
During the monologue, they performed an original Christmas song that illustrated their differences in personality. So Amy’s verses were modern while Tina’s were traditional: i.e., hymn-like, with nonsensical and “dangerously religious” lyrics about washing our souls with the blood of a sacred lamb and stuff. It’s been stuck in my head all morning, so I think they definitely deserve to make lots of money in royalties.
“But what if I told you in a few years one of your novels becomes a surprise bestseller, and is even optioned for a movie?”
The funniest sketch of the night was “Meet Your Second Wife"— a game show where hosts Helen Walsh (Amy Poehler) and Tina Fey (Tina Fey) introduce three happily-married men to the girls who will, in the future, become their second wives. One of them is a fetus. Men are scum!
Sweet old lady but a sweet old lady that says, “Yaaaaas kween!”
The best political sketch was not the GOP debate cold open, but “A Hillary Christmas,” where Amy Poehler’s 2008 Hillary Clinton visits Kate McKinnon’s 2015 Hillary Clinton in a dream. They muse on the ways in which 2015 Hillary has changed, “because people said I should, so I did!” and then Amy’s Hillary admits that she mostly came to warn Kate’s Hillary, “on Christmas Eve 2007, I was cocky too, and then someone named Barack Obama stumbled out of a soup kitchen with a basketball and a cigarette and stole my life.” Naturally, Tina Fey-as-Sarah Palin shows up and pities the Hillarys for becoming “a secretary” after losing the 2008 primary, and then babbles some brilliantly incoherent advice at them.
“Slicin’ to-do lists like a samurai, all the while dealin’ with a U.T.I.”
Later, Amy and Tina offer the filmed piece “Dope Squad” as a response to pandering-reporter Aidy Bryant’s “how do you juggle it all?” question. In yet another dig at Taylor Swift’s #squad (which my dad still doesn’t fully understand), it’s a parody of the “Bad Blood” music video, only this squad includes Gayle King and the gynecologist the two women share, as opposed to models and starlets. And Amy Schumer, who isn’t great at wielding nunchucks or doing a post-apocalyptic walk, incidentally.