Have you guys SEEN this new picture from the commercial for the sneak preview of the "Hunger Games" movie? It looks great----if by great you mean RETARDEDDDD. Ugh. Here are ten things I hate about it so much it makes me wanna kill myself:
1. Katniss is just
FROZEN THERE. But in the book, she's like a HERO, always running around and
fighting for her life. She has to, or she would die herself! But in this
picture, she's just like a STATUE. It doesn't MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!
2. What is that silver little button thing on her left shoulder? Is it a button? Is it one of those little silver things at the end of a hoody-rope!?!? Either way, I hate it. Was that IN THE BOOK?!?!? NO!!!!!
3. There are NO other characters in this picture, but if you go back and read the books, there are LOTS of other characters. Like, maybe a hundred or like eighty. What about Peeta? Where is HE in this picture? Or Gale? Or the girl who got her tongue cut out (sorry! spoiler!)? It’s like, if you’re not gonna pay ATTENTION to details and put all the characters in the movie, WHY ARE U EVEN MAKING THE MOVIE!!?!?!?
4. Jennifer Lawrence looks ugly as shit. I mean, not to be rude and no disrespect to her but she’s the fucking fugliest piece of dirt-shit I’ve ever seen in my life. Like, I’m not a mean person, but her face makes me want to puke and puke and puke.
5. The picture is blurry. DOES THAT MEAN THE MOVIE IS GONNA ALL BLURRY!? In the book, there is NO MENTION of blurriness, but if you look at the picture—esp if you try to enlarge it a lot—it’s way blur-town. I mean, who directed this even? Did Suzanne Collins sign off on this retard? I doubt it.
6. I do like how her hair’s messy though, cuz like with the running around and stuff, her hair WOULD be messy. So I do like that. Good job.
7. Her mouth!!!! She has one of those mouths where like the tops lip goes down. I mean, maybe SOME people like that, but it is NOT MY FAOVRITE KIND OF MOUTH ON A PERSON. (And PS, I think a lot of people would agree. Just ask).
8. Katniss’ neck looks retarded. LIKE, I know what you’re gonna say—-but for real, there’s no REASON for her neck to look that retarded. She’s fighting for her life, not competing in a RETARDED NECK COMPETITION!!!!
9. I can’t tell based on the picture what is behind her because it’s all out of focus (AND BLURRRY) but I HOPEEEEE they’re TREES. Cuz what if its just like green and brown PAINTINGS of trees?!! That would suck SO MUCH. I wanna give the director the benefit of the doubt that they’re real trees and not just shitty paintings of trees, but based on how fucking STUPID everything else about this picture is, I BET ITS JUST PAINTINGS!!!!!!!! Ugh. Fuck this fucking movie.
10. Everything. Just everything. Even her nose. I mean, THATS what we’re supposed to believe Katniss’ nose looks like? Ummmmmmmmmmm okay.
In conclusion, I can
not WAIT to see this movie, I’m gonna bawl so much.
Written By: Chris Kelly
Added almost 2 years ago
686 funny votes
1247 die votes
Patience is overrated...
Patience is overrated...
- So, you decided to judge the entire movie based on only one still shot? These 10 reasons are all based purely on this picture, and because of said picture, you already hate the movie?
- It's called sarcasm yo. ;)
- Not funny.
- umm... okay.
- I hope you guys realise this was meant to take the mick out of all the Potter and Twilight lot that pick at every aspect of the movies and compare it to the books. Otherwise I fear for this generation.
- So maybe those fucking charectars aren't in this one seen maybe something caught her eye Shes not ugly she actually looks like a pretty good pic for katniss Your a douchebag
- This is satire, guys.
- 10 reasons why Chris Kelly isn't funny : see above
- lmfao!!! This writer is hilarious!!
- And in case people don't understand he is being sarcastic...
- Ha, super funny,
- Based on your use of caps-lock, (I'm going to assume your caps-lock has a mind of its own, because if not, that just means you're around the prepubescent age of 11 and have no knowledge of keyboards or their uses) and critical point of view based off a picture from a *VIDEO*, your point is invalid. This movie will be great and Jennifer will be great. You, however, will be "major suck-town". Go back to Twilight you pre-teen.
- So I guess no read the 10th reason. This is funny or die ppl. It was a joke that actually makes me wanna see the movie
- DIE! Even if this was written in a sarcasm font it wouldn't be funny. This reminds me of my teen-age son writing something, anything to meet a deadline.
- This doesn't even deserve to be judged on this website.
- Dude this wasnt funny, you can't judge the WHOLE movie on one pic, i mean come on!
- I have no idea what this movie is about, but your reason's are completely retarded.
- Please, for the love of Christ and his Father, this HAS to be a joke ! He joking, right? If this is sarcasm; bravo Chris ! You the next Louie C.K. ! But if this is a real rant, go fuck yourself and die slowly and painfully. You already bash a movie by a tiny tiny clip from a promo, stating the FULL TRAILER will be shown during this Sunday MTV VMAs ! FUCK YOU, BITCH !
- After reading about the first few being ONLY about "In the book, in the book, in the book", I had to stop reading. I don't know if the correct word would be ignorance, or hypocrisy, since you also forget other books had movie re-makes, and were NOT LIKE THE BOOK.
- I was about to freak out, until I remembered I was on Funny or Die and I wouldn't matter what anybody said about the Hunger Games! I love them anyways. (:
- KEEP COMMENTING EVERYONE YOUR DOING GREAT.
- haha so funny! ive been reading comments like that in forums over the past week from fans that hate everything about the movie but are so excited to see the movie...lol good job
- Im prepared to be super disappointed. It would take epic film making to make this book series and a great screen writer. Hopefully the movie won't be too freely adapted.
- Really people?
- I guess you have to know what you're taking the piss out of to get the funny in this, and I don't know what the hell you're on about. If I did, I suspect I still wouldn't find it funny because I HATE that upper caps thing...no wait - I just read it again and it was a bit funnier. You're actually taking the piss out of people who write shit like this, right? Damn it - you're making me think too much about a dumb thing.