10 Reasons Why The "Hunger Games" Movie Is Gonna Be Major Suck-Town

1. Katniss is just FROZEN THERE. But in the book, she's like a HERO, always running around and fighting for her life. She has to, or she would die herself! But in this picture, she's just like a STATUE. It doesn't MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!

2. What is that silver little button thing on her left shoulder? Is it a button? Is it one of those little silver things at the end of a hoody-rope!?!? Either way, I hate it. Was that IN THE BOOK?!?!? NO!!!!!

3. There are NO other characters in this picture, but if you go back and read the books, there are LOTS of other characters. Like, maybe a hundred or like eighty. What about Peeta? Where is HE in this picture? Or Gale? Or the girl who got her tongue cut out (sorry! spoiler!)? It’s like, if you’re not gonna pay ATTENTION to details and put all the characters in the movie, WHY ARE U EVEN MAKING THE MOVIE!!?!?!?

4. Jennifer Lawrence looks ugly as shit. I mean, not to be rude and no disrespect to her but she’s the fucking fugliest piece of dirt-shit I’ve ever seen in my life. Like, I’m not a mean person, but her face makes me want to puke and puke and puke.

5. The picture is blurry. DOES THAT MEAN THE MOVIE IS GONNA ALL BLURRY!? In the book, there is NO MENTION of blurriness, but if you look at the picture—esp if you try to enlarge it a lot—it’s way blur-town. I mean, who directed this even? Did Suzanne Collins sign off on this retard? I doubt it.

6. I do like how her hair’s messy though, cuz like with the running around and stuff, her hair WOULD be messy. So I do like that. Good job.

7. Her mouth!!!! She has one of those mouths where like the tops lip goes down. I mean, maybe SOME people like that, but it is NOT MY FAOVRITE KIND OF MOUTH ON A PERSON. (And PS, I think a lot of people would agree. Just ask).

8. Katniss’ neck looks retarded. LIKE, I know what you’re gonna say—-but for real, there’s no REASON for her neck to look that retarded. She’s fighting for her life, not competing in a RETARDED NECK COMPETITION!!!!

9. I can’t tell based on the picture what is behind her because it’s all out of focus (AND BLURRRY) but I HOPEEEEE they’re TREES. Cuz what if its just like green and brown PAINTINGS of trees?!! That would suck SO MUCH. I wanna give the director the benefit of the doubt that they’re real trees and not just shitty paintings of trees, but based on how fucking STUPID everything else about this picture is, I BET ITS JUST PAINTINGS!!!!!!!! Ugh. Fuck this fucking movie. 

10. Everything. Just everything. Even her nose. I mean, THATS what we’re supposed to believe Katniss’ nose looks like? Ummmmmmmmmmm okay.

In conclusion, I can not WAIT to see this movie, I’m gonna bawl so much.

Written By: Chris Kelly