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February 22, 2016
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Garment Care Directions

Machine wash warm with like colors.
But not too warm.
Water should be between 65 and 75 degrees.
Deviation in temperature guidelines will result in immediate disintegration of garment.

Bumble dry low.
No, not “tumble dry.”
Bumble dry.
As if to say, dry delicately like a bee flying from flower to flower.
Much like a bee gets honey, your reward will be a nice, soft garment.

Don’t even think about drying garment on high.
You will be unimaginably sorry.
And be swiftly punished.
In this life and the after.

Garment is dishwasher safe.

Iron at own risk.
We honestly never tried it.
It could come out great.
If feeling adventurous, find out for yourself.

Air drying is fine.
But it’s 2016.
Throw it in a dryer.
Don’t be a hero.

Garment is gluten free.

Spill red wine on garment?
May as well just throw it in the trash.
No way that comin’ off.

Do not wear garment on a weekday.
This is more of a weekend garment.
Do not question garment.

Garment is 50 percent cotton.
30 percent abestos.
20 percent CLASSIFIED.

Removal of this tag is punishable by law.

Made in China.

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