Things I learned from watching E!.....
~If you need to "reinvent" yourself, your career was a failure...move on!
~If you don't warrant publicity, go commando!
~If you allow cameras to tape your life...you have no talent and should go commando.
~If your life/career seems out of control...become a lesbian.
~If your dad never gave you the attention you craved...adopt a LOT of kids.
~If you do steal adopt lots of kids, name them really weird awesome names like Copper Roof or Monaco.
~Just because he's gay does not mean he knows what you should wear.
~If your marriage is in question, get pregnant. That'll shut 'em up!
~If all else fails, there's always your sex tape with Verne Troyer....