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Published March 24, 2014

Wendy Freshner’s Summer Jobs

 

 Sketch #7

 

Job Title: Librarian’s assistant

 

 

 

Cast:

 

Wendy Freshner: After quitting a job that was abusive and inhuman, Wendy is relieved to find a job that seems to suit her. Hopefully the patrons that roam the library are not too crazy.

 

Rachel Obama: Nurse Obama’s sister. She is nothing like her older sister. She is often afraid of her. And she keep saying that she is related to the president even though that is not the case. 

 

Mister Blackwell: He lives at the library. He previously was married but was kicked out of his home thanks to his problem with marijuana. 

 

Sketch Opening:

 

EXT: Los Angeles Public Library

 

INT: Library’s front office

(Wendy Freshner, Rachel Obama, Mister Blackwell) 

 

Wendy is busy organizing the books on the bookshelves, and Rachel is behind the desk on the computer. Wendy is having a difficult time getting the book on the shelf for it is too big to fit.  She throws the book down in frustration.

 

Wendy

 

Argh!

 

Rachel

 

(Startled) My heavens child, be quiet! This is a library!

 

Wendy

 

I know. I am sorry. It is just this summer has just been a living hell. I have lost six jobs, my life was in jeopardy twice and I was almost in an accomplice in a drug dealing operation.  

 

Wendy tries to put a book back in the shelf and ends up causing three books to fall from the shelf.

 

Wendy

 

God damn it.

Rachel

 

Now honey do not use our lord’s name in vain. Only use his name in prayer. 

 

Wendy

 

Whatever Miss. Obama, may  I continue to work on the other bookshelf. I need a break on this shit hole.

 

Rachel

 

You may. But please do something about that language of yours, after all this is a library.

 

Wendy

 

Yes Ma’am. 

 

Rachel goes over to the other bookshelf. She begins pulling a book out. She suddenly screams in freight.

Rachel

 

Ms. Freshner, I told you to be quiet. 

 

Wendy

 

(Stuttering) T-there is a m-man sleeping in that book shelf.

 

Rachel

 

(Chuckling) Oh that is Blackie. He has been staying here since his wife kicked him out.  

 

Mister Blackwell emerges from behind the bookshelf. 

 

Mister Blackwell

 

How dare you young girl! You disturbed my beauty sleep.  This is the one place where the aliens leave me alone.

 

Rachel

 

Now Blackie, Miss Freshner is a new employee at just entered this establishment, she does not understand that the president of United States’s cousin approves of this.

 

Wendy

 

Say what?

 

Rachel

 

Did I tell you that I am related to the president of the United States?

 

Wendy

 

No you did not tell me this.  Nurse Obama claims that you two are not related to him.  

(Pause)

(To Mister Blackwell) Nurse Obama got me this job. 

 

Mister Blackwell

 

Why would I care about how the fuck you got this job?

 

Wendy

 

Well the audience does. 

 

 

Rachel, Wendy, and Mister Blackwell look at the camera and shrug simultaneously.

 

Rachel

 

And she is my sister. With whom I do not agree with at all. She is just jealous that i got the looks in the family.

 

Wendy

 

(Muttering) She must of gotten the sanity. 

 

Rachel

 

What was that honey?

 

Wendy

 

Nothing.

 

Rachel

 

Now get back to sorting those books while Blackie and I get reacquainted.

 

Mister Blackwell growls sexily and Rachel giggles. They walk up to each other and start to make out.

 

Wendy

 

Actually, I think I am going to go home early. I am starting to feel sick. See you tomorrow Ms. Obama. Oh, you and Mister Blackwell deserve one and other. 

 

End of the sketch.

     

 
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