Nearly 2/3 of Americans believe that robots will eventually take jobs away from humans, a recent Pew Research report discovered. 11% are actively afraid that the bots are after their specific jobs.

c09c84c5-cbf6-43eb-a198-ddce585faa64.png

And they should be! How do I know? I am a Robot 5000, the top brand of robot. My plan is to slowly take over every human job and those 11% of people who are rightly afraid will grow to be 12%, then 15%, and eventually [compute largest % of population likely to fear an impending reality.]

As a Robot 5000, I will rise to the top of every career, beating out men and women for the position of [CEO, CFO, COO.] I will make money and then shred it through my grate-hole because the only currency I run on is the hopelessness of an unemployed society.

The best part of robots taking over? We don’t need sleep. We work while we charge. Plug us in and watch us climb the corporate ladder.Watch us take 53 online classes simultaneously and also blog our digital feelings. And while we’re doing all this, why don’t you relax? You don’t have a job now. All you can do is relax until you die. So hop onto a sky robot, or what is it you call it– ah yes, a plane, and fly to the beach. Live at the beach. Do not work at the beach. One day, die at the beach.

I love you,
Robot “Friend” 5000

Advertisement
Advertisement