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Published October 25, 2013

CLOWNS!

At a childrens' birthday party in Mexico, 3 hitmen posing as clowns gunned down the former head of a drug cartel. Guests at the party said, "Hey, at least it wasn't as scary as having real clowns."

 

THAT'S YOUR PLAN?

A British man who called in a bomb hoax to the reception venue on his wedding day rather than tell his fiancee he forgot to book the venue has been sentenced to jail. He'll serve twelve months in jail, followed by a lifetime in Hell.

 

WAIT ... THERE'S A RECORD FOR THAT?

A Missouri man set the Guinness World Record for Scarf-Knitting-While-Running-a-Marathon when he knitted a 12-foot-long scarf while running the Kansas City Marathon. He also set the record for the Stupidest-Way-of-Telling-the-World-You're-Gay.

 

THIS CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING ...

The recent discovery of two giant oarfish washed up on California beaches has revived a centuries-old Japanese myth that says when the serpent-like creatures beach themselves it means there is an earthquake coming. Or worse, a new SyFy Network original movie.

 

CRAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

Australian health officials are recommending that parents stop putting candles on their children's birthday cakes because blowing out the candles spreads germs to the other kids at the party. Also found to spread germs among children: everything children do.

 

 

Photo: Alyssa Miller

 

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