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Additional Credits:
Jim Beam, Jack daniels and Bud
59 Funny Votes
19 Die Votes
12,053 Views
Published June 01, 2011

(how to play. Take a shot ever time somthing comes up that you have done before.)

I never ever bang any of my bands groupies before ( An i have been a few bands in my day. Wish i would have now because i could of 100 times over.) 

I never ever put it in anyones but on perpus. (Sorry my one x GF you know who you are an i know not cool at all.)
 
I never ever had sex with two chicks (dudes for the laides playing) at the same time before. But if your down 2 - infnity because am total free.

I never ever taking at shit on a date. (but i do always wax it before one.)

i never ever been caught having sex in puplic. (by the cops that is.)

I never ever had sex on cam. (that i know of)

I never ever kissed a guy on the lips and liked it.  ( but its pays the bills)

I never ever been in a fist fight at the bar. (seen a lot of them and broke up a few in time my days there champs.)

I never ever posted a full on naked pic up of my self online. (but i have texted my junk some hot cougars out there.)

Never had sex on the job before. (just got a few bj's here and there and what not.)

I never ever had sex with some one fatter than me and enjoyed it. (Just because i busted doesn't mean i had the big O um k ladies dudes can faked it too babe.)

I have never ever hit another driver before.( just ran over a few rock slides in my day already dead animals.)

I never ever watched a show on ABC all the way trew. (but am still trying to watch that one with that one chick it. Apartment 23 or somthing like that one looks like a good one? )

i never ever rolled dice in the hood using my own money. (but my dads money will i do  and that sh*t goes down all the time my man!)

I never ever been first in anything. (because sides cuming every now and then. Thats way i always eat her out first before pumping out a load or 2. )

I never ever had sex with one of my moms friends before. (Thank God i can't even get that drunk.)

I never ever ate the b-hole out before. (But one day when i meet my soul mate mybe i'll do it if your into that kind of thing.)

I never ever smoked legal weed and got a buzz from it that i enjoyed. (That sh*t is total crap f*ck a piss test at work i smoke the real sh*t.)

i never ever finshed school. (as if you couldn't tell but i do have my GED.)

i never ever seen Paris Hillton naked in person. (and don't ever want to but i have a feeling in my pants that i already did. So The ER room here i come. )

I never ever bit someone out of the sac before. ( but i have been bit.)

I never ever been on a date with a person i meet online. (Just blind dates people set me up on with crazy people but you attract what you are in this world.)

I never ever peed in the pool when sober. (or shit)

i have never ever been banged out by a chick after doing my comedy stick. (But i used to get laid a lot back in the day when i was a bass player playin that funky sh*t.)

I never ever had a brazilian.(or a wax but i have waxed it to some brazilian spank off tapes in my time.)

i never ever tryed to kill my self on purpose. (but i have had a lot of close calls.)

i never ever lotioned up another man with a boner. (But i will do it for the ladies.)

I never ever had a job that didn't suck total d*ck. (An thats why i don't have one now.)

i never ever been kicked in the balls. (until later today now that you all know this.)

i never sold out. (but i will in a hart beat if the money is right. We would all do it & you know it.)

I never ever even once told a funny joke. (Just really dumb ones all the f in time yo!)

i never ever have rolled around in money before. (because am broker than a meth head in Nebraska)

i never ever been "The Koolest Guy".

i never ever had a finger in me bum bum.

i never won more than 5$ on scratch off ticket. ( or anthing more than a 1$)

i have never ever been out of the U.S.A before in my life.

i have never ever have had a college experiment faze.  ( just a life time of doing drugs instead.)

O no i have never ever lick a b-hole.  

So i have never ever been a Champion in anything i have ever done.( i suck and i know it.)

Am never ever late to work. BECAUSE i DON'T HAVE JOB! (drink UP!)

i never ever got awaywhere with lie in life. (An that is why i don't lie.)

So i never ever finshed high School (But i do have a GED)

i never ever went to college (as if you couldn't tell)

i never ever had sex with any of my sisters friends or mom's friends for that matter.

i have never ever been in a XXX movie before. ( But am down.)

i never ever been beatup as an adult. ( Until now i  have a feeling.)

i never ever been to the west coast.

i never ever have killed anyone. ( But there is stil time.)

i have never ever been gay for a day. ( But i didn't go to college.)

i never ever been to a NFL, NBA, MLB, MLS or NHL playoff game before.

i have never ever joined the mill high club or mill high fried club. (Because the law don't play.)

So yeah i have never ever not got drunk by this far into this stupid game.

i have never ever meet the women of my dreams.

i have never ever been the smart guy. (smartass yes but not the smart guy.)

i have never ever had sex with a cougar lady before. ( but milfs O YES!)

i have never ever been to Prison. ( Jail a few time but no Prison time.)

So yep i have never ever won first place in any of the sports i have ever played. (Lots of 2nds and 3rds)

i have never ever been this bord in my life. ( So am done so you better be drunk now.)

So yeah i never ever f*cked a chick i the butt before yet. ( that i can remember anyways.)

i have never ever seen my favorit baseball team the pirates win a WS before or play in one before. ( So if your team has ever got there drink up budy!)

PEACE in the Middle East

P.S Look asswipes am piss pants drunk so f*ck off with your "spelling" you f*ckin butt darts! Because i ain't checking sh*t you f*ckin p*ssy! F*ck your mother! An if you want to fight about it well then cum on down because i kill you! Snap! Just like that just because i can bro! Suck on them nuts b*tches!

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