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Published June 01, 2011 More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Jim Beam, Jack daniels and Bud
61 Funny Votes
23 Die Votes
Published June 01, 2011
(how to play. Take a shot ever time somthing comes up that you have done before.)I never ever bang any of my bands groupies before ( An i have been a few bands in my day. Wish i would have now because i could of 100 times over.) I never ever put it in anyones but on perpus. (Sorry my one x GF you know who you are an i know not cool at all.) I never ever had sex with two chicks (dudes for the laides playing) at the same time before. But if your down 2 - infnity because am total free.I never ever taking at shit on a date. (but i do always wax it before one.)i never ever been caught having sex in puplic. (by the cops that is.)I never ever had sex on cam. (that i know of)I never ever kissed a guy on the lips and liked it.  ( but its pays the bills)I never ever been in a fist fight at the bar. (seen a lot of them and broke up a few in time my days there champs.) I never ever posted a full on naked pic up of my self online. (but i have texted my junk some hot cougars out there.) Never had sex on the job before. (just got a few bj's here and there and what not.) I never ever had sex with some one fatter than me and enjoyed it. (Just because i busted doesn't mean i had the big O um k ladies dudes can faked it too babe.)I have never ever hit another driver before.( just ran over a few rock slides in my day already dead animals.)I never ever watched a show on ABC all the way trew. (but am still trying to watch that one with that one chick it. Apartment 23 or somthing like that one looks like a good one? ) i never ever rolled dice in the hood using my own money. (but my dads money will i do  and that sh*t goes down all the time my man!) I never ever been first in anything. (because sides cuming every now and then. Thats way i always eat her out first before pumping out a load or 2. ) I never ever had sex with one of my moms friends before. (Thank God i can't even get that drunk.) I never ever ate the b-hole out before. (But one day when i meet my soul mate mybe i'll do it if your into that kind of thing.)I never ever smoked legal weed and got a buzz from it that i enjoyed. (That sh*t is total crap f*ck a piss test at work i smoke the real sh*t.) i never ever finshed school. (as if you couldn't tell but i do have my GED.)i never ever seen Paris Hillton naked in person. (and don't ever want to but i have a feeling in my pants that i already did. So The ER room here i come. )I never ever bit someone out of the sac before. ( but i have been bit.) I never ever been on a date with a person i meet online. (Just blind dates people set me up on with crazy people but you attract what you are in this world.)I never ever peed in the pool when sober. (or shit) i have never ever been banged out by a chick after doing my comedy stick. (But i used to get laid a lot back in the day when i was a bass player playin that funky sh*t.)I never ever had a brazilian.(or a wax but i have waxed it to some brazilian spank off tapes in my time.) i never ever tryed to kill my self on purpose. (but i have had a lot of close calls.) i never ever lotioned up another man with a boner. (But i will do it for the ladies.) I never ever had a job that didn't suck total d*ck. (An thats why i don't have one now.) i never ever been kicked in the balls. (until later today now that you all know this.) i never sold out. (but i will in a hart beat if the money is right. We would all do it & you know it.) I never ever even once told a funny joke. (Just really dumb ones all the f in time yo!) i never ever have rolled around in money before. (because am broker than a meth head in Nebraska) i never ever been "The Koolest Guy". i never ever had a finger in me bum bum. i never won more than 5$ on scratch off ticket. ( or anthing more than a 1$) i have never ever been out of the U.S.A before in my life. i have never ever have had a college experiment faze.  ( just a life time of doing drugs instead.) O no i have never ever lick a b-hole.   So i have never ever been a Champion in anything i have ever done.( i suck and i know it.) Am never ever late to work. BECAUSE i DON'T HAVE JOB! (drink UP!) i never ever got awaywhere with lie in life. (An that is why i don't lie.) So i never ever finshed high School (But i do have a GED) i never ever went to college (as if you couldn't tell) i never ever had sex with any of my sisters friends or mom's friends for that matter. i have never ever been in a XXX movie before. ( But am down.) i never ever been beatup as an adult. ( Until now i  have a feeling.) i never ever been to the west coast. i never ever have killed anyone. ( But there is stil time.) i have never ever been gay for a day. ( But i didn't go to college.) i never ever been to a NFL, NBA, MLB, MLS or NHL playoff game before. i have never ever joined the mill high club or mill high fried club. (Because the law don't play.) So yeah i have never ever not got drunk by this far into this stupid game. i have never ever meet the women of my dreams. i have never ever been the smart guy. (smartass yes but not the smart guy.) i have never ever had sex with a cougar lady before. ( but milfs O YES!) i have never ever been to Prison. ( Jail a few time but no Prison time.) So yep i have never ever won first place in any of the sports i have ever played. (Lots of 2nds and 3rds) i have never ever been this bord in my life. ( So am done so you better be drunk now.) So yeah i never ever f*cked a chick i the butt before yet. ( that i can remember anyways.) i have never ever seen my favorit baseball team the pirates win a WS before or play in one before. ( So if your team has ever got there drink up budy!) PEACE in the Middle East P.S Look asswipes am piss pants drunk so f*ck off with your "spelling" you f*ckin butt darts! Because i ain't checking sh*t you f*ckin p*ssy! F*ck your mother! An if you want to fight about it well then cum on down because i kill you! Snap! Just like that just because i can bro! Suck on them nuts b*tches!