Tyson Chandler of the New York Knicks took home defensive player of the year honors earlier this month; the result of, according to Chandler, "Years of hard work and dedication at being super tall."
He then added, "It feels great to be recognized as the NBA's tallest player who doesn't not play defense. The next step for me is the off-season, where I plan to focus my training on improving my ability to not not play offense."
Serge Ibaka, runner up to Chandler in the voting commented, "It's disappointing... I gave the illusion of playing hard all year just as well as he did. This is the kind of thing that makes somebody not want to not not play defense anymore."
When reached for comment, the league's MVP and most ruthless dream-killer LeBron James said, "I guess it's a little harder to dunk in Tyson's face than it is to dunk in Ibaka's face." Adding, "If I ever get the chance, I'll dunk in Serge Ibaka's face while he's dunking in Tyson Chandler's face."
LeBron, who's rounded out his game considerably in recent years becoming an "Explosive mid-range flopper" in addition to his other talents, kept me on the line while he completed his daily ritual of stealing one job from the city of Cleveland.
After minutes of silence, he spoke one last time exclaiming, "Double face dunk!" before hanging up.