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April 27, 2012

In a title match, the knockout artist from Nazareth smacks down the upstart Romney.

Romney v. Jesus: The Tale of the Tape
Jesus threw money changers from the temple.
Romney is a money changer who goes to a temple.
On judgment day, Jesus hopes he’s not rich.
On judgment day, Romney hopes he’s not a camel.
Jesus cured the sick, the leprous and the blind.
Romney asks for an insurance card and copay.
Jesus’s friends were fishermen and revolutionaries.
Romney’s friends own NFL and NASCAR teams.
Jesus was concerned about the poor.
Romney is happiest when he can fire them.
Jesus was a carpenter.
Romney might have been to Home Depot.
Jesus kept his word.
Romney has more positions than the Kama Sutra.
Jesus hung out with a tax collector.
Romney sets up shell accounts overseas to avoid the tax collector.
Jesus said you cannot serve God and Money.
Romney says Jesus never heard of venture capital.
In all fairness, Romney’s not running for Jesus. Still, a curious observer might think that Romney’s doing all he can to run from him.