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Published June 01, 2010 More Info »
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Published June 01, 2010

Saturday night, like a typical 22 year old it’s mandatory (and we are actually trying to check if theirs a law that will prohibit all the teenagers including me ehem! to stay at home and watch Gilmore Girls or Queer Eye for the Straight Fugglies (guy pala, my bad)...

I was supposed to go out with my American friend, everything was settled, Go to a club, Drink, Party, Drink, Party harder, try not to get drunk then go home...it's a full proof plan, works every time!!! But that day, I was not in the mood to party, I was not sick, though I think I felt a lump somewhere when I was showering lol! To put it bluntly I WAS NOT IN THE MOOD to socialize, drink, do "kampay" with the malnourish models and has been actors...I was just not in the mood. So I begged-off, trying some flimsy excuse like I don’t want to be a 3rd wheel or something...luckily they believed me or at least I thought they bought my excuse (I am such a bad liar) I was just about ready to read for the 56th time (mind you) what I call my bedside book (The Devil Wears Prada ===>highly recommended by the way, you'll love the book) when I got a call from my ex asking me if I'm available that night, I was about to say no but I sensed something was wrong, so I probed; "What's the problem?", the only response I got was: "I need you right now...please let's meet", I was thinking (what the hell does this person want at 11:45 PM?!, booty call? I don't think so; I made it clear when we broke up, no more SEX! Theirs plenty of tuna's in the ocean) so I give in..."Give me an hour!"

We met in bar somewhere in QC, it was cozy, it was dark, it was smelly and it was unbearably ugly, who owns this friggin' bar? This would be considered Shangri-La to all the cockroaches and other forms of icky creepy crawlers God made!!! I need to get out fast! Oh I forgot! I was accompanying a friend (damn you! I kept this to myself of course) I was not surprised when he informed me that they broke up, his life-long partner of 3 months! (Life long my ass!)...As a great friend and former bf, I listened and blame it all on the guy and I was too busy trying to keep myself sanitized (talk about multi-tasking)…I ordered a beer to keep my mind away from the smell and try to focus in getting drunk and helping my friend (in that particular order)... while I was busy consoling my friend (by the way let’s call him “Mr. Delusional”) I spotted a hottie 7 O’clock, so hot I said to myself; this place is not THAT bad after all! He was smiling showing those dimples, and I smiled back. And then I did the unthinkable, I told my friend: “I have to call someone really really important, I’ll be back. Yes! It’s his fault, I’ll have him killed first thing tomorrow morning, don’t worry, no! I’m not going to leave you, you will not die alone, and you still have your dog and your yaya!” And then I made my move on the hottie...

Flirting 101 I acted like I was about to go outside, pretending that he doesn’t exist, and then…The hottie blocked my way “where do you think your going?” he said in a baritone voice that resembles my best friends voice which I tried to ignore…(3 brownie points!)… “I’m just gonna buy a cigarette for my dying friend” I said, of course he was shocked when I said that, I immediately did a rebuttal, “no, what I meant was his boyfriend broke-up with him and he feels like dying”, nodding he said “well, you’re a great friend”, “I know” then he laughed… then he grabbed my hand and caressed it, whoa! That was fast! “You know I was actually looking at you from afar, and I must say you have the cutest eyes, “Thank you! Blame my parents they’re Chinese”, next thing I know he grabbed the back of my neck and started pulling my head towards him, I was tipsy so why not! So we kissed to cut the long story short…GASP! I can forgive you if your breath smells like cigarette or if you kiss with your eyes open (but I’d rather you don’t do that!) But this guy is the worse! It felt like he was eating the lower part of my face! He was using his teeth for sobbing out loud! I was on a tight embrace which felt like a headlock, I used my remaining strength to push him away, “what the f*ck are you doing?!” I said, shocked he answered “I was kissing you!”, “I don’t think so; if you’re hungry grab yourself a burger!!! A**hole!” There it was! Humiliating? Yes, Fun? NO, unforgettable experience? YES! I grabbed my friend, paid the bill, (did not even bother to get the change, then ran outside)…I told my friend that I just don’t like the place and if it’s possible for us to go somewhere else…and of course we found a place of sanctuary, a place of utter bliss and a perfect venue to pour your heartaches and heartbreaks…Thank you Starbucks!

Moral of my story: Never ever go to any unfamiliar bars in Q.C.!

P.S. MR Delusional (my friend) is back into the arms of his partner; in the meantime I’m trying to figure out the fastest way to get rid of my mouth sores…

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