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April 26, 2015
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If the wikiHow writers don't take themselves seriously, why should we?

Ever tried googling your troubles away?

Captain Obvious says: While Google is showing you the answers, it’s not the one actually giving them. It’s easy to forget at times that behind every post online sits an existing person, often one with a non-existing IQ.

Or, a person with a far more dangerous weapon than idiocy - free time on their hands. Which brings us to..

Meet the wikiHow staff! Excellent fellows, with a talent for teaching, a knack for drawing and questionable common sense. People, known for giving good advice.

Such as:

How To Pee Yourself As A Woman

900px-Pee-Yourself-as-a-Woman-Step-28-Version-2.jpg

Source: WikiHow

You know what?

This is actually very good advice - assuming that you are a woman looking for ways to pee herself.
In that scenario, this article is about to give you some excellent tips like:

670px-Pee-Yourself-as-a-Woman-Step-15-Version-2.jpg

Keeping your underwear on..

670px-Pee-Yourself-as-a-Woman-Step-78.jpg

Doing whatever the hell this woman is doing..

670px-Pee-Yourself-as-a-Woman-Step-21.jpg

And, naturally, walking away calmly when finished.

‘Walking away calmly’ seems to be an entire life philosophy with the wikiHow writers - one that even urine-soaked underwear cannot mess with.
In case anyone needs some actual good advice on uncontrollable bladders, here’s How To Treat Cystitis In Women .

How To Get Rid Of A Wasp Nest

waspsnest.jpg

Source: wikiHow

What have wasp exterminators been thinking all these years? Behold, the true arch nemesis that wasp colonies can’t tackle - a plastic bag.
If there was a third strip to this graphic, I bet the guy would be wiping his hands clean all “Well, that’s taken care of”.

Again, here’s how you actually get rid of a pest infestation: Pest Exterminator

How To Swim Safely With Piranhas

Safely-Swim-with-Piranhas-Step-5.jpg

Source: wikiHow

The flaw in this plan is obvious: this guy just doesn’t look like Our Lord And Saviour Jesus Christ.

Granted, what he is lacking in superhuman abilities to glide on water surface, he’s making up for in serene-face-making.

Here’s how you actually deal with piranhas: How To Survive (or best avoid) A Piranha Attack

How To Cope With A Parachute Failure

670px-Cope-With-a-Double-Parachute-Failure-Step-8-Version-2.jpg

Source: wikiHow

Here’s the part where wikiHow truly shines with a priceless word of advice:

As you approach the Earth at terminal velocity, you may wish to contemplate your past existence, and the possibility of a future afterlife. A strategy that might prove helpful is to consider how fortunate you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life has not been good to you so far, consider how lucky you are that it will not be troubling you much longer.

Although, in the end of the day, if you got killed or humiliated following this advice, maybe wikiHow isn’t the one to blame, but you are. Except for the parachute failure - then it’s really nobody’s fault.

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