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July 06, 2008


there's this boy sitting in the hallway outside the cigar store playing an acoustic guiar and singing pop/folk songs about jesus. each song kind of sounds like 'knockin' on heavens door' and the kid has a high, nasal voice...which i suppose doesn't help with my annoyance. anyway, i didn't really like it from the get go, but as soon as i realized he was singing about god i just wanted to deck him and take his guitar. why? i don't hate god, or the idea of god, and i don't inherently disregard people for believing or for professing their faith (any more). so why is it that christian music still bugs the living shit out of me?

oh, i have to clarify here, it's not all christian music...i like a lot of church songs and caroling is a blast. most christmas music i enjoy and  think listening to a good gospel is a profoundly spiritual experience. i just find something very disingeuious about christian pop/rock/hip-hop/rap and i don't  know why, exactly.

i think it starts with the way that christian artists are marketed. it reminds me of the way people like michael bolton and celine dion are marketed (two artists that have blinding talent, but little to no respect) and types of mainstream artists also annoy the beejesus out of me.

but then there are the words and the music.

i used to believe it was my own problem, my own predjudices that made me hear a song, think it was good, and then when i realized it was about the greatness of god my skin would begin to crawl. but then i found Flyleaf. they are a christian heavy rock band that i have paid money to see, and i have lifted my hands up with the rest of the crowd. they are not very interesting musically, but the words...well, it's hard to describe, but she sings about god in the way that god FEELS not about his deeds or his greatness, and about how that feeling (or lack thereof, in some songs) affects her life and those around her. the songs are stories, and that seems to make them more acceptable to my musical palate. and then i see the flaw in the bad christian music i have heard...they're just writing the same sappy love songs or teen agnst anthems we hear onmainstream radio, except there is no sense on longing, no emotional struggle, and no love is lost, because it all ends up being saved by the eternal love of god. and that's not interesting or compelling, and it doesn't make me feel like i know the songwriter the way that say a joni mitchell, or a ben folds can make me feel. when i listen to someone like micheal w. smith or jars of clay i just get the feeling that they just couldn't hack it in the real music industry so they changed their words to be about god and now they have a record deal and a following.

maybe that skin crawling feeling is just a jealous bitterness about them having a career and me having a crappy studio in my friends parents' basement.

maybe those artists really all are filled with such love for god that they must express it through poorly written lyrics in badly crafted songs (and i could still just be bitter).

all i know for sure is that the fucker in the hallway now has a crowd around him clapping and singing along and all i want to do is destroy them all.

i must be a terrible person.