Don’t be fooled by all that singing about “home on the range.” Even cowboys like a little taste of urban living every now and then. Check out what these hard-ridin’ cattle drivers like to do in the big city when they bring those doggies to market!
“There’s so many different kinds of things to lasso in the city. Yesterday, I roped a halal cart!”
“Out there, all alone on the ranch, I feel like the master of my domain, but here I can get on the subway and feel like an itty-bitty little bug!”
“I can finally get me some honest to goodness dim sum.”
“The billboards are incredible. Giant, sexy ladies in their under-things. Huge bottles of Coca Cola. It’s so, so close to this reoccurring dream of mine.”
“Three words: No. Dang. Coyotes.”
“I like going to a Warby Parker and trying on the glasses right there in the store. They make online returns super easy, but I just never seem to get around to sending ‘em back.”
“I try see me a big musical. Then I describe the whole thing to my trail hand Zeke so he can do it back for me in shadow puppets next time we’re ‘round the campfire.
“I go into a Levi’s store and look at all the crazy junk that they’re making out of jeans. That’s always good for a laugh.”
“I go to one of them big, fancy hospitals and get me an MRI to see if that cattle thief’s bullet has moved any closer to my spine.”
“When I’m sleeping out under the stars, the other guys like to point out the different constellations. I play along, but to tell you the truth, everything looks like some kinda weird crab to me. So, it’s nice to get a break from that whole situation.”
“I love to go to a modern art gallery. I’m blessed to live out amongst God’s many works of incredible natural beauty, but He doesn’t have a lot of shit that, like, gets up in your face, you know?”