50 Things Obama is Not

By A General Nonchalance April 26, 2011 | 15,722 Views
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There's a lot of questioning about the validity of Obama's birth certificate, where he was born, if he had the grades to be get into Harvard, etc. Most of which is exactly what you think it is: inane.

But if for some reason you need further explanation, let's break it down.

Here are the things that Barack Obama Is: 
The President
The Father of two girls
A former Senator

Here are the things he is not: 
1. A Christian-hating Muslim
2. A Kenyan-born baby who duped the nation into becoming President
3. A Fascist
4. A Wild Card
5. A deck of cards
6. The feeling you get when you watch movies of yourself as a child
7. A bowl of soup
8. A tree
9. A hammock
10. That high school English teacher who really inspired you, but was fired for making her students think
11. Your new iPhone
12. Your old-outdated iPhone
13. Steve Jobs
14. An issue of Skymall Magazine
15. A lamp
16. The smell of your grandma's house
17. The smell of your grandma
18. Your Grandma
19. Jim Rice
20. James Joyce
21. Joyce Brothers
22. The Smothers Brothers
23. A stapler
24. The reason why tap water in NY somehow tastes as good, if not better, than bottled water
25. A really good joke on Twitter
26. The guy who killed JFK
27. JFK
28. The guy who played JFK in the movie "JFK"
29. JFK Airport
30. George Costanza
31. Art Vandelay
32. Bob Sacamano
33. A sight for sore eyes
34. Marty McFly
35. Biff
36. Billy Zane in Back to the Future
37. Billy Zane in Titanic
38. Billy Zane in Billy Zane's House when he says stuff like "Fuck Yeah I'm Billy Zane"
39. Billy Zane
40. Roger Ebert
41. Former New York Yankee prospect Brian Taylor
42. A terrorist
43. A fan of Donald Trump
44. Someone who gives a shit about Donald Trump
45. Donald Trump
46. The thought that pops into your head when you realize that your cat owns you, rather than you owning it. 
46. Prince
47. Prince Henry
48. Prince Charles
49. King Ralph
50. Our deepest darkest fears.
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  • Another thing he's not... a good President
  • At least he is better than bush
  • Well this article is dying a horrible death as it should.
  • reagan era was a pretty shitty time for an impoverished american. its irrelevant at this point though. i dont care if you are republican democrat tea party free market libertarian communist socialist or whatever. the world as we know it is changing.the only way anything will get done in the future is if we stop blaming each other and focus on fixing problems. the number one problem in america is not the economy, it is pride and hate. i predict the united states as we know it, as well as many other world powers, will not exist in 50 years. usa is over. new world order.
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Venus_Project
  • 36-39 are the best by far
  • Another thing he is not. Someone with a clue.
  • Isn't it a delight when a liberal steps down to show us clever he is? The list is positively mordant, and then (I hope you didn't miss this), he polishes us off handily with our "darkest" fears!
  • Greg you're dumb. :D
  • Obviously, I've stumbled into some liberal morass on this one...sorry for trying to educate all u libs...like trying to teach a pig to whistle: wastes your time and annoys the pig... will keep facts off of this venue in the future and just enjoy the comedy...hard to believe that Libs can poke fun at Conservatives but not their precious icons
  • you know the really interesting thing I've noticed about my comments about Barry not being a good President is that 2 months later I'm still getting likes (thank you to everyone) and the same folks keep flaming me...what's up with that? I make a simple statement, an opinion, and get many folks liking it but some just can't let it go...sad for the flamers. Oh and he's still not a good President...
 
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