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August 13, 2015

In November, Ohio will vote to legalize recreation marijuana. This does not under any circumstances mean Ohio will become cool.

After this Fall’s elections Ohio might be getting a bit more high, yo! The organization ResponsibleOhio has successfully added an amendment to this November’s ballot for the state to vote on the legalization of medicinal and recreational marijuana. ResponsibleOhio gathered the necessary amount of signatures, 306,000 to be exact, for the state to recognize the petition and add it to the ballot.

If the measure is voted in, Ohio will be the fifth state to allow recreational use of marijuana. But before we get ahead of ourselves, lets make one thing clear. Ohio, this isn’t going to suddenly make you cool or anything, okay? You’re still top three dorkiest states, right up there with Delaware and Utah. Even the organization fronting your legalization movement has a straight up narc name. It’s chill that you’re down with the doobie, but at this point like everyone’s grandma has smoked weed.

You’ll probably just smoke it once anyways and then won’t stop bringing it up in your other legislation. Ohio State medical school will keep doing weed studies to make your new pastime seem legit. Now, we’re not saying this isn’t something to fight for. It is. Hopefully we can one day live in a country hazed over by a dank mushroom cloud, but an Ohio with weed is still less cool than a California without it.

Ohio, we hope you get this amendment passed because smoking more will probably relieve the stress of being a swing state and all the pressure that’s put on you every election year. It’ll also give you something to do because it isn’t exactly clear what you all do do, now. But it isn’t going to make you cool and that’s okay!

There are more important things in life than being cool, like maintaining important friendships and eating healthy. Take it from me, I’m not cool. You already know this though, because you read the first sentence of this post and let me get away with it. I appreciate that, Ohio. Let me know when you legalize weed and we can chill and hit a jay together.