Greetings, sleuths. My name is Fitzwilliam S. Fudrucker and I’m a Facebook detective. I scour the ‘book for hints and clues to solve the mysteries raised by the vague, unspecific posts of your friends, family, and barely tolerated acquaintances.
Today you’ve been enlisted by ME and my colleagues Scotland “Internet” Yard to solve some of the top head-scratchers of Zuckerberg’s domain. Care to take a crack and see if you’re a Sherlock “Internet” Holmes or a Susan “Internet” Grafton? I’ll be puffing my pipe and sipping on hot yummy tea while you sort through this jolly mess. Good luck, and be careful!