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October 19, 2016
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This fall's most-watched series airs its final episode tonight on almost every TV network that still exists.

The finale of this fall’s most-watched series, Presidential Debates, airs its fourth and final episode Wednesday night, live from Las Vegas on almost every TV network that still exists. The political-based mini-series has been both a fan favorite and a critical darling, exceeding everyone’s expectations in terms of ratings and shocking plot twists. Here are 10 predictions for how we think things will wrap up.

The Mystery Of The Missing Tax Records Will Be Solved Once And For All

Much of the cultural conversation about this show has centered around The Donald’s refusal to release his tax records. In episode one, he said he was undergoing standard audit proceedings and couldn’t release them, only to backtrack from that by saying that Hillary would need to release her thousands of emails first. Later, it we received a clue that Trump may not have paid any federal income taxes in nearly twenty years. And while The Donald rump refused to deny this, but the taxes mystery has continued to grow. If I had to guess, the answer will be revealed to us in tonight’s backdrop.

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The Donald Will Finally Let Loose And Call Hillary ‘The Word That Shall Not Be Said’

His character has been dancing around it all season. Anytime he gets anywhere close, the show’s live studio audience goes absolutely fucking nuts. Writers have wisely held off on going down that road so far, but there’s no longer any reason to hold back. I’ll guess we’ll just to wait and “C” what happens.

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The Man in the Red Sweater Will Turn Out To Be A Hillary Clinton Supporter

Casual viewers were surprised by the sheer number of undecided voters who appeared in the last episode, but super fans knew that it was precisely these folks who were at the center of the show’s premise. Their leader, known only as ‘The Man in the Red Sweater, remains a mystery … but all signs point to him having a good heart under that brightly zippered sweater and, thus, will ultimately side with Team Her.

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Hillary Clinton’s Emails Will Make An Appearance

Show insiders have hinted that there will be a cameo from 33,000 emails, and if the rumors are true, then most of them will be coupons for Bed, Bath and Beyond.

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We Find Out Whatever Happened To Those Two Vice Presidential Candidates

The series took a very weird turn in Episode 2 when it abandoned its Trump vs Clinton plotline entirely to follow two ordinary white men with opposing opinions on most things. One shouted a bunch, while the other denied a lot of stuff. And then we never saw them again. Many believe after the success of Episode 1 that it was developed as some sort of backdoor pilot that ultimately went nowhere. Expect to see those loose ends tied up in the finale’s first few minutes.

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Former President Bill Clinton Will “Not Have Sexual Relations” With Melania

;-)


There Will Be An Actual Presidential Debate

Hosted by Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace topics will include entitlements and debt, the Supreme Court, the economy, foreign policy, and each candidate’s fitness to serve as President.

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Viewers Will Learn Exactly What World This Show Takes Place In

It only takes a few minutes spent on the Presidential Debates subreddit to be completely overwhelmed with fan theories about just what fucking alternate reality this entire election process has taken place in. Is this space? Have we traveled into the future? Does the show take place in the present day, but on an alternate dimension? We should find out tonight. One thing’s for sure, this can’t be real life.

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Both Candidates And All Of The Moderators Will Be Sent To Jail

After a divisive final episode, and in a twist strangely similar to the Seinfeld finale, all of the main characters will be sentenced to one (1) year in jail. However, my guess is we never find out why, because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, baby!

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