Just like any other day, I'm always looking on the ground to see if anyone had dropped money. I don't care if it's a penny or a dollar. It all adds up! I take all the change home and throw it in a jug, and it is full of pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters. Most of them were found on the ground. So, why do people throw pennies away, and then bitch that they are broke? I just don't get it! I have enough pennies to take a small vacation, and I wouldn't be able to say that if I kept putting all of my pennies in the spare change dish at the beer store.
Times are hard economically, and I'm sure that you all have some stories to tell. I've seen people do some "off the wall" shit lately. In these times, we all need to hold on to our jobs, that is, if we still are lucky enough to have one. So, why would you do something to jeopardize your income? "You know that they will give you a piss test at work, so why are you smoking that joint?" Hell, I like to escape reality too, but I'm not going to cut my nuts off by losing my job! No thanks man, I'll stick to my beer! Which brings me to my next point.....
If you are so worried about paying your bills.....What the fuck are you doing spending $3 a beer at the bar? Shit, I can get a 30-pack for about $15! Oh, and why do people bitch about having to drive home from the bar drunk? I haven't been inside a bar for a couple of years. Yeah, I miss some of the folks there dancing, playing pool, and watching football. But, with all of the money that I saved by not going to the bar, I can actually go see a ballgame at the stadium. Hell, them guys at the bar are only your friends if you are buying the next round!
In Maryland, you only have to get your car inspected once. When you buy a car, you inspect it, and then you run the mother-fucker until it falls apart! Man, I have seen some cars on the road that have no business being driven. I pulled up next to this dude at the red light the other day, and I couldn't hear my stereo over the noise of his car! When the light turned green, he took off like a bat out of hell. I could not see a damn thing through the smoke, and there were splatters of oil spraying my windshield. I just knew that car wasn't going to be on the road long. I went in to Wal-Mart, came out, got in my truck, and headed home. Guess who I saw on my way? Yep, that same dude! This time he wasn't driving. He had a couple guys helping him push the car out of the middle of a busy intersection. What a real dumbass! When my car makes a new noise, or starts to run funny, I have to get it checked out. I don't mind walking, but only for pleasure.
I think that I'll sue McDonald's for making hot coffee! That asshole ordered the coffee knowing damn well that it would be hot! The retard was clumsy and spilled the coffee burning thierself, and they have the balls to sue Mickey D's. What the hell is this world coming to? I think that I'll call 911, they are out of McNuggets!
Who has noticed that almost everything has instructions on the package? Some things, I can understand. When you buy a new DVD player, it is a good idea to read the hookup instructions. But, some things are really insane. Who is the dumbass that needs instructions on a box of Pop-Tarts? I could not believe it when I saw instructions on a box that I was checking out at the store. I would like to meet someone that needs to know how to put a Pop-Tart in a toaster! It even tells you to remove the "pasteries" from the foil package before putting in the toaster. No way! You have got to be shittin' me! What's next? Maybe they'll put an instruction booklet in with the next new comb that you buy!
I always look for money on the ground, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. But, I always look for things that people do (or say) that make me laugh. People are just naturally funny! (Like the guy I saw that walked face first into a door, because he thought it was an automatic door.) I'm always looking for a good chuckle, and I know that I can do some things that make others scratch thier heads. The big difference is, I do a lot of things just to get a reaction. They may think that I'm funny, (or stupid), but the reactions they give make me laugh my ass off! Life is just too difficult at times, so I try my best to lighten it up a bit. A good sense of humor will help you through hard times. Stupidity will not!
Keep an eye out for the dumb things that people do. If you see some crazy shit, please, let me know. I can always use a good laugh. I'll continue to watch for assholes and clowns, and I'll keep you informed!!
Hall of Fame