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November 18, 2014
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Funny Or Die celebrates "Let Your Dog Be Your Boss Month"

Well, as everyone knows, it’s “Let Your Dog Be The Boss Month.” Least that’s what we were told right before our actual boss walked out on us, leaving behind only this dog in his place. (Still not sure where he ran off to. By the looks of Instagram, it’s somewhere warm though.)

And on paper, YES, a Dog Boss sounds like dream come true. In reality? Wow, it sucks.


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First thing she did was completely derail our pitch meeting. We were SUPPOSED to be discussing the Hershey’s account. Only Mike had the balls to say something.

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“Walk with me, Mike” said Dog Boss. He knew this wouldn’t end well.

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And he was right. Dog Boss had fired her first employee before lunch.

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Speaking of lunch, Dog Boss showed a complete lack of respect toward the employee fridge.

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After eating several employee lunches INCLUDING CHOCOLATE, WHICH IS BAD FOR DOGS, she spent noon to 3 p.m. dicking around online and buying tennis balls with the company card.

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She left her office ONCE and it was to spend 45 minutes at the water cooler to shoot the shit and talk about ‘The Newsroom.’ (Apparently, she used to date Jeff Daniels.)

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The brown-nosers in the office knew she could be bought and thought nothing of whoring themselves out to get on her good side.

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And since Dog Boss was not above a bribe, this always worked.

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Even worse ,she showed a blatant disregard for the office sexual-harassment policy, forcing employees to rub her belly on demand. (Granted this was no different from what our People Boss did.) But if anyone dared speak up—

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—they regretted it.
But nothing prepared us for the ULTIMATE betrayal.

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“Why, yes, I AM interested in selling the company.”

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“Everyone get the fuck out of my face.”

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