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September 15, 2014

Recent tweets from dead celebrities

Mediums at Twitter’s San Francisco headquarters recently used a Ouija board to verify these lost celebrity tweets:

@Elvis: Miley to me at VMA’s: “You’re finally showing your age, Mr. Stamos!” #FML

@Elvis: Told @LisaPresley she’d still be in the news if she screwed MJ as well as Conrad Murray did.

@Hitler: If my generals discuss Dancing with the Stars casting one more time, I’m blowing this bunker up for real.

@Hitler: I can’t live each day as if it were my last, because I’d never leave @Wienerschnitzel

@Gandhi: Being 144 years old is easy, because I’ve been wearing an adult diaper for 100 of them.

@Gandhi: Hey @HarveyWeinstein if you seriously cast Steve Buscemi in my bio pic, heads will roll!

@HellenKeller: Downloading a viral video in braille: 82% complete. This Dancing Baby better be funny or I’m done with Ally MacBeal.