All this talk recently about men groping women in government and stalking women at shopping malls and then running for high office in Alabama and getting voters to vote for you who don’t care about integrity……..

Don’t misunderstand I’m not making light or a joke about bad men getting elected.

This is instead a tribute to my wife who won’t support me or back me when I’m wrong. I’m going to give her a MemoryTag card thanking her for keeping my feet on the ground unlike these no-good bastards in government and at colleges who abuse women and expect them to take it in silence.

My wife wouldn’t let me do that, come to think of it, sometimes she doesn’t even back me when I’m in the right.

Marriage is not supposed to be my wife or your wife or a woman you’re stalking at a shopping mall if you’re a U.S. Senator going along willingly with whatever you want to do. That’s the 1950’s. Back then men could get away with almost anything based on the “It’s my word against yours” scam. In other words if you accuse me of something I’ll just deny it even though it’s true.

Or the other 1950’s cheat that says, “She (the woman) asked for it (my improper advances), she gave me the come-on.”

These are lies men who have no guts like to hide behind and still do to this day but let’s not dwell on the grim subject that we have men in government who represent a waste of skin, you know, the kind of Congressman who would steal $50 off his own mother while her back was turned and then when he’s not stealing, lying or cheating you the voter and constituent he’s playing the part of a phony patriot wrapping himself in the flag.

No, this is about my wife.

I do not have a 1950’s-style marriage thank god where all the pressure is on me to earn the income and I have a slavish toady of a wife who stays home all day and then when I get home she comes to the door in a grand sweeping style in a formal dress with her hair made up and lipstick on looking radiant to congratulate me on being wonderful.

Like Donna Reed used to do in the old Donna Reed TV show.Remember the 1960 Donna Reed Show? The actor Carl Betz (the husband) would arrive home and Donna Reed would dance a pirouette to the door, fling it open and greet Betz with her formal gown and her hair done by a Hollywood stylist—-the very image of the helpless, clinging vine stay-at-home-all-day housewife.

As a 10-year-old I used to wonder…..What does she do all day?

Vacuum? Dust? Read a book? Answer the phone? Make lunches for Paul Petersen and Shelly Fabares (the TV children)?

I never wanted that kind of wife. Why should I? If I can’t even do my taxes my wife does it for me if I’m such a retard that I can’t even string Christmas lights on my roof without dropping and breaking half of them if I’m such a dullard I can’t successfully get a band aid out of its wrapper without scrunching it all up into a ball——why would I want a perfect wife—–who isn’t perfect but just acts that way?

That’s like a politician who is a thief, liar, cheat, pervert, coward, draft dodger, woman-grabber—-who acts like he’s not.

No I’m thankful I have a wife who makes me see the reality and the pointlessness of life and don’t get me wrong it’s not bad that life is pointless it’s just that you should enjoy it while it lasts and not get carried away with your own imagined self-importance or take things so seriously that you scream at and threaten people or stalk women at shopping malls in Alabama or do drugs and alcohol to try and escape your miserable self.

A good woman like my wife can keep you down with your feet firmly planted on the ground like a child who holds a balloon and keeps if from flying crazy all over the place.

I am thankful for her making me see the humility of existence.

I love her for it and I’m going to give her a Memorytag card thanking her for keeping me a person who doesn’t want to lord it over other people.

MemoryTag cards are a fraction the cost of store-bought cards. MemoryTag is the card that says just about everything from happy birthday to get well cards, graduation cards, Mother’s and Father’s Day cards, sympathy cards, weddings, anniversary cards, funny cards, weird cards, Valentine’s Day cards, thank you cards, all of them a fraction of the cost of a store-bought card.