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Published September 15, 2011 More Info »
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Published September 15, 2011


Frequent fliers need all the carry on space they can get, so why not leave the laptop at home and make the 
MOTOROLA XOOM Android Tablet your new travel companion?

Cutting edge next-generation technology with the latest in Google Mobile innovations provides with you with everything you would need from a home computer but with the 1.6 pound lightweight portability of a tablet.  It’s awesome in the truest sense of the word.

It has a front-facing 2-megapixel camera so you can video chat with your son David and explain to him why he has to eat dinner every night of the week at the condo of Trevis, the SPIN instructor at mommy and daddy’s gym.

His name is Trevis.  That’s right.  Trevis.  With an “e.”

I saw his dick once.  In the gym locker room.  It was awesome in the truest sense of the word.  

It was like seeing a whale surface.  It was like seeing the Aurora Borealis.  

It was smooth like an Asian’s forearm and non-porous as if it was made of blown glass.

There was not a single shadow on it as if his dick was it’s own light source and no matter which direction he moved his dick always seemed to point west.  

His is the dick of a man.  Mine looks like the gnarled finger of gypsy fortune teller.  

Tell your son you miss him on the 10.1 Inch Widescreen HD display and not to let the black man in Capri pants make him forget about his father the way his mother has forgotten about her husband.  Daddy will be home soon, David.

I love you, David.

Daddy loves you.

Daddy loves you.

Daddy loves you.

- Dan Dringle


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