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Published April 02, 2008

 

WTF I Was Ready?

i'm caught on this road

walking alone

singing the backyard blues

i begged to him

then i saw him choose

it wasnt me he was looking for

wasnt love and romance

but i still saw some hope

then leaped at the chance

the phone kept ringing

there was no reply

i wont leave a message

i'll just forget this and get high

i am ready...I AM READY

you arnt ready...you arnt ready

didnt you say you were ready?

so i leave the front light on

and hid the key next to my heart

all thats left is to wait again

till you had enough of being apart

i am ready...I AM READY

you arnt ready...you arnt ready

didnt you say you were ready?

Copyright ©2008 Chelsea Marlene Brown

chelsea

 

(here's and old blog from my other site thingy)

October 15, 2007 - Monday

2:58 PM - RED RED RICE!

 

Today I made RedRice :)

RedRice is a food dish from Guam, the most beautiful place I've ever called home and now I feel just as local as I did back home when I cooked this one up. I didn't have spam so I used hotdogs instead (which they also use back home) My tummy is now happy!

July 27, 2007 - Friday

9:22 PM - Back Again

 

Ok...so I came here to the Mainland and I hate it! Once you live in Guam it's like no where else is good enough. People here are horrible :( People get raped, killed, robbed, and gang fights here. We had some stuff like that back home but NOT like here. It's everyday that shit goes so wrong here. The people here are so mean and most people just don't care for one another. But there are those few people that remind me of my island. Not to mention that everything here seems so washed out. It's like people in the states just loose excitment about life in general.

 

A person who cuts isn't crazy, they just don't know any other way to save themselves from going crazy or dying on the outside." - Chelsea Brown 

            "it's like vomiting. You feel sick and spit out the badness." - Anonymous

 

 

Stormy Weather

          

You came to me while I was sleeping

Saying that you suffered just like me

That during our departure

You really weren't free

 

Sadly I think you vanished

From life all in itself

My only love gone forever

Another book on the shelf

 

I see your image buring bright in my mind

Hoping one day I'll embrace you all together

But you keep floating away from me

And I'm left in this stormy weather                      

-A poem from my depression Erra-

Mended Mind

 

They say that I've improved so much these years

But what they can't realize is that every night I'm in tears

I want to take the razor

I want to take my life

I want to feel it slip away as I trail it with my knife

Can no one see the suffering that is laid upon my soul?   

Probably not because I always pretend to be whole

So I just walk in my invisible pain

Awaiting for my mind to be mended

-and old poem about NJS-

Broke

 

I couldn't stand it when you looked me in the eye

Said you were sorry but still said goodbye

I told you why I was sadden, the tears still fell

So I turned away and when on my own

Trembled in my memories…my silent hell

 

And I fear…I have nothing left to give

It was all taken from me, the day I trusted him

But I still go on and I will always live

Even though the lights in my heart are dim

~I won't let it consume me; I won't let him consume me!

 

If you want to know, I'm so scared

I've loved once, I've loved twice

The second one tipped the scale

 

I've lost my faith and lost my trust

But I was taken back a couple more steps

When I saw my heart shattered in the dust

In the mirror I see who I am, all the depths

~I won't let it consume me; I won't let him consume me!

 

So I go on…day by day and night by night

Looking to be loved then find some dream

I fight with all my strength and find my might

For the man who can love me so close and my heart redeem

~I might let it consume me; I might let him consume me!

I want embrace, I want to give,

I want the hunger, that's comes from within…

 

 

Lingering                                                           October 26, 2006 1218am

 

What is this feeling that lingers in my heart?

When you look at me I fall completely apart

To just kiss you lips and fall in your embrace

Is beyond my own beauty, every line traced

 

How is it that I'd let you wreck me twice

While the inner thoughts of my spirit you entice

I'm growing this fondness in which I can't explain

How is it my most incapable emotion you gain?

 

 

So there are some poems that I've written. the first one is from my 5th book of poetry, the last two are from the current one I'm trying to complete. But writers block SUCKS!

OK! OH SHIT. I"M DONE NOW!

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