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May 22, 2008


Is your friend having a bunch of couples over for dinner and you don't want to go because you don't want to feel like the ninth wheel? Don't be an idiot. Go! Being the only single girl at a couple's dinner party is a great place to meet men. And have sex with them. And the best part is, you don't have to worry about them trying to start a relationship with you, because they're already dating your friend.

When guys in relationships are hanging out with their buddies (far away from their girlfriends) and meet a single girl, they can pretend to be anyone they want – single, engaged, married, a rogue CIA agent who's leaving for Europe in the morning…anyone. It's a game they play to test if they still have the "pick-up" magic. But when they're with their girlfriends and they meet a single girl, they can only be one thing…THE GUY WHO'S TRAPPED IN A RELATIONSHIP. Even if they're in a happy relationship, when they're with their beloved they become instantly aware how few options they have left. And that's how you get them.

When you're sitting around the table chit chatting with a bunch of couples, do whatever you can to become every option that the guy you want can no longer have. If the guy is in a relationship where they agree on everything, remind him how sexy it is to argue. If they argue all the time, make him wonder how easy life would be if he was with someone who shared his way of thinking. Be "envious" of their relationship. Tell him how lucky his girlfriend is that she doesn't have to "dress to impress" anymore while you spend half your week waxing and primping and working out to make your body the wonderland that it is. "Lament" how hard it is to constantly be with new guys and have to work SO hard during sex to discover what pleases them. Then while he's quietly thinking of a way to see you again (when his girlfriend's not around), start chatting up the girlfriend. Talk about marriage (if they're not yet married), or kids (if they are married). Even if she's starting to figure our what you're up to, she'll throw all her suspicions out the window for an excuse to talk about a wedding or kids. Once she starts going on those topics, he'll feel the relationship noose tightening and will be begging you to meet him for "coffee" sometime. The way to a guy is through his ego. Men need to believe that they're always in control. That they can do whatever they want, whenever they want. By displaying to him (especially in front of other men), how far from the truth that is – you rip his ego to shreds. The only way for him to repair it, is to prove how wrong you are. And the only way to do that is to do something that you both know he's not allowed to do…have sex with you. Pick a nice place to meet for coffee. Ideally in the lobby of a really nice hotel.

Hi guys, Heather here. Sorry I missed the blog last week (but I hadn't been created yet). Although I agree with Catherine about guys with girlfriends being really easy to have sex with at dinner parties, I think her approach is completely insane. All that manipulating and strategizing seems hard and long and boring. She wants you to wait until the next day? Or later in the week? Waaaaay too long to wait for sex. I say do it AT the dinner party. And it's so easy. Touch him. Seriously. I know it sounds like a movie cliché, but casually touch him under the table. Brush your leg brushing against his. Men love excitement. Danger is sexy. The threat of getting caught is a huge thrill. And even if they're getting regular sex, they're probably not getting thrilling sex. And nothing gets their heart pumping faster than the threat of sex with a stranger while their girlfriend sits oblivious on the other side of him. The excitement of the situation totally clouds their judgment. The adrenaline coursing through their veins is a high and the only way to keep the high going is to fan the fires of danger. But it's all about timing. You get him off balance with the first touch. He's not sure what you've done is an accident or a suggestion. Touch him again with greater purpose and show him that his instinct/fantasy is right. Reward him for his dirty, illicit thoughts. Now dare him with your gaze. Is he man enough to do what you're suggesting? Can he handle it? Then act fast! Make it clear that the kind of amazing sex that you're offering is not for wimps. Quickly lead him away from the table before he has a chance to think about what he's doing. If the thumping of his heart slows down long enough to hear his brain telling him what an idiot he is, you're dead. And besides, it's a dinner party. You don't want to waste your whole night flirting with some loser who cheats on his girlfriend.

You're pathetic, Heather. If all you're looking for is a quickie with a stranger, go to a soup kitchen. I'm sure you can get six guys to follow you into the bathroom in no time at all. My dinner party system is about the thrill of the chase. Mystery. Excitement. It's foreplay. What's your rush to get back to the table? So you can sit and listen to a lively debate about where the absolute best destination for an anniversary weekend is? You'd be better off staying home with your vibrator.

Well, while you're trying to get off on being a manipulative mastermind, I'll be in the other room having an actual orgasm. And is there anything better that that?